Random Poem
by Fordy, Susan, and Doghouse
Any one here?
Was the question.
Was there an answer?
Or even a mention?
"Present" I proclaim,
What about the others?
From the dead (this group) can we reclaim?
I hope so, if I had my druthers.
And with that comes are very good question
I have often wondered about your druthers
Did you simply inherit them,
Of did you steal them from the Mudders?
If he stole them does that make him a thief of genetics,
robbing DNA from sisters and cousins and mothers?
Or are his druthers just fake, like a can of cosmetics
and his choices simply lifted from the minds of some others?
I think she ment Mudders, miners with the milk,
With the Hero of Canton, a man they called Jayne,
(Though, not v ery reputable, men of his ilk),
And I wouldn't steal, from that I abstain.
So you wouldn't steal from rich,
And give to the poor,
Wouldn't look at The Man
and give him "what for"?
You wouldn't stand up for the needy
the blind and the lame?
Then you're not the solution
you're part of the blame.
Well he is Canadian,
and some say that's a fault.
To ward off his evil,
Turn around and throw salt.
A Canadian you say, the ones who misplace their "u's"?
Well I can't really say that that's much of an excuse.
But I'll cut him some slack and pour him some gin
because I think he likes to eat that disgusting looking poutine.
I disagree about the cutting of the slack,
As he breakfasts by the ocean
And then seconds later while still chewing,
He is hiking on a mountain.
I'd stand up for the needy, and regularily donate,
Canadians are good, the salt of the Earth,
I wish the American's would stop all the Hate,
Your spelling without the "u's" fills me with mirth.
American's - we put the "a" in Hate.
Or so the Canadian has tried to prove
Alas he is just our whiny ol' mate,
We know to American he wants to move.
We don’t always hate, sometimes we’re just picky
I’m sure he can figure it out.
Even though the distinction can be subtle and sticky
If he needs help he can just give me a shout.
And maybe the distinction is obvious and plain
and he doesn’t want to condescend.
So before he can do any Canadian legerdemain
I’ll just say that this is The End.
Monday, November 15, 2010
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Random Poems
Random Poems
by Fordy
The first, Doghouse posted "Poem of the Day" and invited everyone to post or write a poem. The second was a little poem for Susan on her birthday; and the third was a little poem for Marie on her birthday.
*********************
*********************
This day in July, not so many years gone by,
Born to the world, with a baby's loud cry,
Susan the snarktastic, the spoiler-world queen!
Hope your day is fantastic, fun and Super keen!
*********************
To our Dear Marie,
by Fordy
The first, Doghouse posted "Poem of the Day" and invited everyone to post or write a poem. The second was a little poem for Susan on her birthday; and the third was a little poem for Marie on her birthday.
*********************
Bring out your dead, wailed out the voice,
Startled he awoke, afraid of his choice,
Before surrendering to grief,
He looked on with Relief
Monty Python's Holy Grail is too loud - rejoice!*********************
This day in July, not so many years gone by,
Born to the world, with a baby's loud cry,
Susan the snarktastic, the spoiler-world queen!
Hope your day is fantastic, fun and Super keen!
*********************
To our Dear Marie,
Please I beg hear my plea,
Sawyer and the gang all say
Have a great day!
Warmest Birthday wishes to you are sent
All Haters can go and get bent!!
Move and Repeat
Move and Repeat
by Fordy, Doghouse
In this exercise, the first person write a four-line stanza. The second person will take the second line of that stanza and use it as the first line of the second four-line stanza and write three new lines for it. Each person will continue taking the second line of the previous stanza and using it as the first line in a new four-line stanza.
****************************************
Summer is here, And the sun is shining,
Sand at the beach is warm and golden,
Once long ago, for your love I was pining,
To you no longer, am I beholden
Sand at the beach, was warm and golden
Winter's set in, covering all with frost,
Passion has faded, no longer do you embolden,
What once was so special, is long gone and lost
Winter's departed, taking all the frost,
Spring has arrived, flowers in bloom,
Eyes afire, dazzling smile; with a look you accost,
Drawn to you I am; my heart you exhume.
Spring has arrived, flowers in bloom,
the days are longer the sun rules the sky.
But I still long for the early sunset gloom
You could ask me to explain but I won't tell you why.
by Fordy, Doghouse
In this exercise, the first person write a four-line stanza. The second person will take the second line of that stanza and use it as the first line of the second four-line stanza and write three new lines for it. Each person will continue taking the second line of the previous stanza and using it as the first line in a new four-line stanza.
****************************************
Summer is here, And the sun is shining,
Sand at the beach is warm and golden,
Once long ago, for your love I was pining,
To you no longer, am I beholden
Sand at the beach, was warm and golden
Winter's set in, covering all with frost,
Passion has faded, no longer do you embolden,
What once was so special, is long gone and lost
Winter's departed, taking all the frost,
Spring has arrived, flowers in bloom,
Eyes afire, dazzling smile; with a look you accost,
Drawn to you I am; my heart you exhume.
Spring has arrived, flowers in bloom,
the days are longer the sun rules the sky.
But I still long for the early sunset gloom
You could ask me to explain but I won't tell you why.
Write a Shortie
Write a "Shortie"
by Doghouse, Fordy
A "shortie" here is a piece of writing that's 100 words or less.
Here are the guidelines:
The theme: Journalism.
The limit: 100 words or less.
The prompt: Real news is everywhere and it’s often depressing. Create some fake news using one of the topics below or one of your own. Funny or serious, your choice.
Suggested news topics:
Unusual weather, Amazing scientific breakthrough, Cat stuck in tree, New continent discovered, Library scandal.
"Novel Crime"
Criminal investigators are currently looking into a reported case of theft from the Minneapolis Public Library after a book was reported missing last Friday. The missing title, “Love Buzz: Soul of the Honeybee”, a collection of poems by local author, I. Ben Stung was last seen by librarian aide Catherine “Cat” A. Logger during her routine daily afternoon shelving.
“I loaded the book on the cart myself” Logger said. “But when I went to put it on the shelf it was gone. Taken.”
This is not the first missing book reported at the new downtown library. Library officials refused comment.
"Weather"
Meteorologists are at a loss to explain the recent deluge of sunshine hitting the city. "They told me when I first moved here that it would rain for 8 months straight, and now here we are in Mid-March and it hasn't rained in weeks. What am I going to do with all of these umbrellas?" local merchant, Ray Needai complained.
The current sunny weather is expected to last into next week, when it could potentially level off into seasonal norms.
by Doghouse, Fordy
A "shortie" here is a piece of writing that's 100 words or less.
Here are the guidelines:
The theme: Journalism.
The limit: 100 words or less.
The prompt: Real news is everywhere and it’s often depressing. Create some fake news using one of the topics below or one of your own. Funny or serious, your choice.
Suggested news topics:
Unusual weather, Amazing scientific breakthrough, Cat stuck in tree, New continent discovered, Library scandal.
****************************************
"Novel Crime"
Criminal investigators are currently looking into a reported case of theft from the Minneapolis Public Library after a book was reported missing last Friday. The missing title, “Love Buzz: Soul of the Honeybee”, a collection of poems by local author, I. Ben Stung was last seen by librarian aide Catherine “Cat” A. Logger during her routine daily afternoon shelving.
“I loaded the book on the cart myself” Logger said. “But when I went to put it on the shelf it was gone. Taken.”
This is not the first missing book reported at the new downtown library. Library officials refused comment.
****************************************
"Weather"
Meteorologists are at a loss to explain the recent deluge of sunshine hitting the city. "They told me when I first moved here that it would rain for 8 months straight, and now here we are in Mid-March and it hasn't rained in weeks. What am I going to do with all of these umbrellas?" local merchant, Ray Needai complained.
The current sunny weather is expected to last into next week, when it could potentially level off into seasonal norms.
Can You Tell Your Life Story In Exactly Six Words?
Can You Tell Your Life Story In Exactly Six Words?
by J.Elizabeth, Marie, Fordy
Once asked to write a full story in six words, legend has it that novelist Ernest Hemingway responded: "For Sale: baby shoes, never worn."
*************************
Some days suck, others are better!
I should have been a blond.
I'm smarter than the average bear.
by J.Elizabeth, Marie, Fordy
Once asked to write a full story in six words, legend has it that novelist Ernest Hemingway responded: "For Sale: baby shoes, never worn."
*************************
Some days suck, others are better!
I should have been a blond.
I'm smarter than the average bear.
The Evil of Dorcas Goodvoiceflute and Libby Cluck
From Buffs - The Evil of Dorcas Goodvoiceflute and Libby Cluck
by Fordy, Susan, Craig, Sue
This started on one email list as a passing joke between Moderator's in the Spoiler-verse, we just forwarded it to EC-S and continued it a little further.
******************
"Mua ha ha" Dorcas GoodvoiceFlute laughed maniacly to herself. "My nemesis Libby Cluck will rue the day he chose to cross me." With a flourish she finished her letter:
Dear Dictator Cluck,Cluck you!The Revolution Awaits!~Dorcas Goodvoiceflute, Leading revolutions since 1961
That will put him in his place. THinking he can charge in and take over my domain. I've been cultivating my evil plots for the last five years, and I won't let him think he can usurp my plans of world domination. My minions are ripe and ready.
*****************
Libby Cluck fumed as he read the latest missive from Dorcas. Who did this upstart think she was. He had watched in horror as she built up her power-base, and as he realized her plans for global domination he had an idea of how he could turn this to his use. First he had to rile her up, and if he blind-copied her minions, perhaps they'd assume he was all about the peace and the love - leaving them ripe for his leadership.
Dear Dorcas,I think you are confused. It is you who is the dictator. Dr. Cluck has no interest in ruling over all of spoilerville- he is a man of and for the people. It is his mission to prevent your dictatorship from growing even further and to enlighten the people about the evil that is the reign of Dorcas. So say we all.Namaste,Libby Cluck, Ph.D, M.D.,D.O, D.M.D, D.O.A
******************
Meanwhile in his secret lair, Fordy the Fordinator of Light (he'd recently been promoted from "Forderama of Exorcism" by The Powers That Be), planned on how best to save the spoiler-verse, and the world from dominion by these two very evil, noxious villains. He'd already managed to rescue Spoiler-Queen Erish from their mad quests for power, but for her to remain safe she had to remain hidden (occasionally sending secret codes to her followers through the facebook interface). With a heavy sigh he sat down at the terminal. At least he had Good and Right on his side, more than could be said of the fascists he was commissioned to battle.
******************
It was time for Fordy to call in his crack-team of trained femme-fatales ... Fordy's Angels. They could sweep in and also help to undermine the evil plots of Dorcas and Libby. It was only the cream-of-the-crop of the Fordy Girls that were promoted to Fordy's Angels.
Alas and unbeknownst to Fordy, there was much dissension amongst his Angels. Each believed she was Fordy's favorite, yet each didn't know that he harbored a secret affection for one who was not yet an angel. Perhaps a demon, but not an angel. What was Fordy to do?
He couldn't betray his Angels for fear that they would turn on him and choose the path of righteousness that Libby Cluck offered them. So he pined away in secret, hoping one day his secret demon love would love him back. Who was that demon? Ah, a secret so deeply buried that only one had that knowledge. For only Fair Queen Erish knew the truth,and she was not about to reveal all until such time as served her purpose. So Fordy sulked back to his Angels and bravely asked their assistance.
*****************
Little did Fordy know that Dr. Cluck had recently kidnapped the Angels to a remote island in the south Pacific. As Fordy tried to call the Angels on the speakerphone at Fordy headquarters, the phone rang repeatedly. "Where are those Angels? They are supposed to be at my beck and call!" Fordy fumed to himself.
He couldn't betray his Angels for fear that they would turn on him and choose the path of righteousness that Libby Cluck offered them. So he pined away in secret, hoping one day his secret demon love would love him back. Who was that demon? Ah, a secret so deeply buried that only one had that knowledge. For only Fair Queen Erish knew the truth,and she was not about to reveal all until such time as served her purpose. So Fordy sulked back to his Angels and bravely asked their assistance.
*****************
Little did Fordy know that Dr. Cluck had recently kidnapped the Angels to a remote island in the south Pacific. As Fordy tried to call the Angels on the speakerphone at Fordy headquarters, the phone rang repeatedly. "Where are those Angels? They are supposed to be at my beck and call!" Fordy fumed to himself.
Meanwhile on a remote island in the south Pacific, the Angels were sitting on the beach and wondering where their drinks were....
*****************
"This is Agent Chienmaison, IMOM reporting in. Apparently there's trouble afoot in the Spoiler-Verse. Someone's getting ready to make a grab for power, I'm just not sure who ..."
*****************
*****************
To be Continued .... ???
Story Starter - Writing Prompt
Writing Prompt
by Fordy, Marie
This started with a writing prompt of the first sentence. It never really went anywhere, and never generated a lot participation ...
She SO did not want to be here, especially when . . .
... he was here too, watching her from across the room. And the asshole had the nerve to give her that self-satisfying smug look. Randy knew his presence at the wedding would bother his ex-girlfriend, Amanda, but he had to see her one more time.
by Fordy, Marie
This started with a writing prompt of the first sentence. It never really went anywhere, and never generated a lot participation ...
She SO did not want to be here, especially when . . .
... he was here too, watching her from across the room. And the asshole had the nerve to give her that self-satisfying smug look. Randy knew his presence at the wedding would bother his ex-girlfriend, Amanda, but he had to see her one more time.
Things had ended so badly between them, he needed her to understand. It wasn't his fault. He would make her understand one way or another.
Amanda turned to Mike, who had been sitting beside her oblivious to the turmoil raging inside of her. "Mike, I hate to impose, but could you ..."
" ... just stay with me. Randy's over there, and did you see that look he gave me? And he's got something under his coat ..."
Randy glanced in Amanda's direction and saw her discussing something serious with Mike. What was he thinking coming here? He knew it was hopeless, but he felt he had no choice.
Alphabet Game - #2
Alphabet Game
by Fordy, Doghouse, Craig, JoLayne, J. Elizabeth, Sue, Marie
We have done somehting like this before, but why not recycle it. Each sentence has to start with the next letter of the alphabet. (The first sentence would start with A, the second with B, the third with C and so on).
Ashamed, he quietly turned and fled the scene.
Before he knew it, the police were chasing after him.
Can’t anyone take a joke anymore?
"Dammit", he thought as he heard the police behind him, "apparently not".
Embarassed, he realized he had left his pants at the scene of the crime.
Fred was not trying to offend anyone.
"Great", Fred said aloud scaring the dog that was sniffing the heel of his shoe. "Now what do I do, go back for the pants or run the risk of offending the line of ladies waiting to get into Annie's Tea Room?"
Hearing the handcuffs the police officer removed from his belt, Fred turned around and smiled at the officer. "I don't suppose you'd let me go back for my pants"?
"I don't think so, bub, but I do have a pair of pantyhose in the cruiser I'm more than happy to loan you.”
Jail wasn't so bad the last time, Fred thought to himself. It is certainly better than Annie's tea room!
Keenly aware that he was in danger of showing his bits to the ladies in line, Fred backed slowly towards the officer. "I'm ready...let' s go. Can we stop at Burger King on the way? I am starving."
"Let's go", the police officer said as he grabbed Fred and put him in the police cruiser, all the while thinking that he could go for a nice, juicy Whopper.
Manacled to the back seat of the cruiser, Fred summoned the dark, supernatural powers of his mind and used them to take control of the police officer's body.
Nora, annoyed because Fred was late meeting her at Annie’s Tea Room once again, flipped her cell phone open and droned, “Have you heard from him?”
Outside Annie's Tea Room the forces of the dark had gathered in response to Fred's telepathic summons and gazed hungrily at Nora.
"Please Fred, enough of your forces of dark. What kind of trouble have you gotten yourself into this time?" Nora glared irritaded at Fred's gathered forces of dark.
"Quiet, bitch, your henpecking days are numbered" Fred growled a smile, displaying his new dark magic-enhanced canines. Something about tasting her fear were the last words Nora heard before she felt Fred's teeth sink into her throat. She would have screamed if she still had a larynx.
Ray (the police officer), snapped back to reality, "What the hell had this naked guy done to him?", glancing at Fred, he noticed he appeared to be drooling from his mouth; as if he was in some other-worldly feeding.
Suddenly Ray the Police Officer felt afraid. Very afraid.
To be continued ... ????
by Fordy, Doghouse, Craig, JoLayne, J. Elizabeth, Sue, Marie
We have done somehting like this before, but why not recycle it. Each sentence has to start with the next letter of the alphabet. (The first sentence would start with A, the second with B, the third with C and so on).
Ashamed, he quietly turned and fled the scene.
Before he knew it, the police were chasing after him.
Can’t anyone take a joke anymore?
"Dammit", he thought as he heard the police behind him, "apparently not".
Embarassed, he realized he had left his pants at the scene of the crime.
Fred was not trying to offend anyone.
"Great", Fred said aloud scaring the dog that was sniffing the heel of his shoe. "Now what do I do, go back for the pants or run the risk of offending the line of ladies waiting to get into Annie's Tea Room?"
Hearing the handcuffs the police officer removed from his belt, Fred turned around and smiled at the officer. "I don't suppose you'd let me go back for my pants"?
"I don't think so, bub, but I do have a pair of pantyhose in the cruiser I'm more than happy to loan you.”
Jail wasn't so bad the last time, Fred thought to himself. It is certainly better than Annie's tea room!
Keenly aware that he was in danger of showing his bits to the ladies in line, Fred backed slowly towards the officer. "I'm ready...let' s go. Can we stop at Burger King on the way? I am starving."
"Let's go", the police officer said as he grabbed Fred and put him in the police cruiser, all the while thinking that he could go for a nice, juicy Whopper.
Manacled to the back seat of the cruiser, Fred summoned the dark, supernatural powers of his mind and used them to take control of the police officer's body.
Nora, annoyed because Fred was late meeting her at Annie’s Tea Room once again, flipped her cell phone open and droned, “Have you heard from him?”
Outside Annie's Tea Room the forces of the dark had gathered in response to Fred's telepathic summons and gazed hungrily at Nora.
"Please Fred, enough of your forces of dark. What kind of trouble have you gotten yourself into this time?" Nora glared irritaded at Fred's gathered forces of dark.
"Quiet, bitch, your henpecking days are numbered" Fred growled a smile, displaying his new dark magic-enhanced canines. Something about tasting her fear were the last words Nora heard before she felt Fred's teeth sink into her throat. She would have screamed if she still had a larynx.
Ray (the police officer), snapped back to reality, "What the hell had this naked guy done to him?", glancing at Fred, he noticed he appeared to be drooling from his mouth; as if he was in some other-worldly feeding.
Suddenly Ray the Police Officer felt afraid. Very afraid.
To be continued ... ????
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Alphabet Game
Alphabet Game
by Fordy, Doghouse, Susan, JoLayne, J. Elizabeth, Sue, Marie
Each sentence has to start with the next letter of the alphabet. (The first sentence would start with A, the second with B, the third with C and so on).
"Amazing!" Beatrice thought to herself, as she surveyed the view spread before her.
Behind her stood Carl and Deborah, rolling their eyes at her melodramatic ravings.
"Couldn't they understand," Beatrice thought to herself?
"DOW's back over 7,000 again," Deborah pointed out. “So? We have a long way to go.”
"Even with the Dow rising we still need money and we need it fast if we're gonna carry through with our original plans," muttered Carl.
"For God's sake, Bea," Deborah exclaimed. "Put your iphone away and focus." She looked at Carl's checklist. "Carl? Why do we need a gun?"
"Gun, uh, ummm ... What gun? This gun. Umm, uh, I don't know how it got here..." Carl stammered.
"How dare you lie to me?", Deborah spat and turned to the window and watched the street below.
Ichabod looked at the three of them and thought, "I have to save Humanity with this lot?"
"Just my luck", Ichabod thought as he stubbed out his cigarette and stood to face the room and give the three of them the bad news that would change their lives forever.
"Knives! Duck!", yelled Carl before Ichabod could say more.
Long before any of them could move, a duck holding razor sharp knives flew in through the window and stabbed Carl in the right eye. Deborah screamed and held her hands over her face as the duck flew around the room and back out the window.
Meanwhile, in another location an ancient darkness stirred, "My Mallard of Doom has drawn first blood! Mua ha ha ha!"
"North, you idiot, I told you to fly NORTH and kill, you limp-beaked bastard!", the Ancient Darkness cursed in ancient darkness.
"Obviously we're going to need this," Beatrice mumbled as she pried Carl's Glock from his cold, dead hand.
"Pass me the Saber Saw. We are going to need that too."
"Quite the pleasure device you have there, Ichabod", Deborah said huskily, "but shouldn't we remove the blade before we, you know?"
"Right, I guess... but that sounds boring to me," Ichabod smirked.
"Seriously you two, now is not the time," Beatrice said with resolve, "Carl lies dead not two feet from you, we must formulate a plan and take action!"
"That's it, you're not the boss of me, I'm leaving!" Ichabod screamed.
"Until we know for sure what is outside of these doors, no one crosses that threshold," Beatrice said to Ichabod.
"Voltex Industries," Deborah exclaimed excitingly, pointing out the window at a large van pulling into the parking lot of the Bellagio Hotel.
"Xavier!" She yelled, looking back at Ichabod and Beatrice, "Xavier is driving the van!"
"You have got to be kidding me!" Ichabod remarked, "Has he infiltrated them, or has he turned Benedict? All of our preparations could be for naught!"
"Zig zag all you want, Ichabod. I think everyone in this room knows who the real infiltrator is!"
"Alright! Alright! I admit it. It has been me! Me! this whole time," Ichabod laughed with an evil glint in his eye.
"BASTARD!" Deborah snarled, "And to think what I almost did with your .... saber saw!"
"Carl probably knew about you working with the Ancient Darkness," Beatrice accused, raising the gun to Ichabod's forehead.
"Did you kill him thinking we'd never figure that out?"
"Everyone knew the truth.. you were all just hiding from it" Icabod said,scornfully.
"Frak that Ichy!" Beatrice snarled, "you turned traitor for your own glory, thinking you'll be able to carve out a name for yourself under the totalitarian regime of the Ancient Darkness; you fail to realize that he wants destruction for everyone, including his boot-lickers!!!"
"God Bea, it's always the same conspiracy crap with you isn't it! Get a grip. And quit calling me Ichy!" Ichabod snarled right back!
"Holy Hell Ichy! Pull yourself together. There is a massive conspiracy going on and you need to realize it." Beatrice rubbed the back of her hand against her forehead.
Ichabod saw his chance and grabbed the gun from her hands and wrestled her to the floor.
Jarred by the impact of Beatrice hitting the floor, an antique porcelain vase tottered and fell off the counter catching Ichabod in the back of the head.
"Keystone Kops if ever I've seen them," a voice intoned as the door opened. Xavier entered and purveyed the scene before him.
Laughter, a deep menacing laughter, echoed through the room; filling our intrepid heroes with a foreboding doom.
"M...m... maggots?" Xavier cried as he backpedaled to escape the room and flee from the billions of wiggling larvae, some as large as two feet long, and all looking toward the now open door.
Noting Xavier's apparent discomfort at the squirming larve, Ichabod chuckled to himself. "If you are afraid of those small creatures, wait to see what I have planned for you next," he sneered.
“Oy vey! I didn’t sign up for this!” Deborah intoned.
“Pray you don’t look like lunch,” the menacing voice bellowed.
"Quickly everyone! If we don't act now all will be lost."
"Run all you want; it will do no good." Ichabod intoned, as he surveyed the scene. Carl's lifeless body still lay in the corner, Xavier quivered in fear and disgust at the door, Beatrice sat stunned on the floor not 2 feet from him; but where had Deborah gotten to?
"Saw this!!!" deborah cried as she lunged at ichabod with the saber saw, severing his head from his body.
Thunk, Ichabod's head hit the floor.
"United, we must be united; it's our last chance!" Beatrice wimpered as she slowly rose to her feet.
Valiant is how they felt! Nothing could stop them now!
Wonderous was their feeling of pride.
"Xinjiang, Xinjiang China is where we shall go!" Deborah then shouted!
"You're out of your mind!", Beatrice said. "Zimbabwe, maybe?"
And so it goes...... The End.
"but ... But was Ichabod the Ancient Darkness or his minion? We thought he was on our side, and he wasn't; what were we trying to accomplish?"
"Close your eyes and try not to think on it too much."
"Dammit - I want answers, and a conclusion. All these plot threads dropped for convenience, I don't understand" Deborah wailed.
"Enough! It was a metaphorical fight against the evil that threatens to consume us all. By stopping Ichabod, and standing up for justice and mercy and compassion we vanquished the Ancient Darkness for another day."
"Finshed then? it's all finished, and we can attempt to start anew?"
"Gads - that's what I've been telling you,"
"Honestly, I'm still a little confused - what about the crow?"
"I'm telling you - it was a manfestation of the evil inherent in mankind's collective soul. We stood against it, and in that act alone we won."
"Just standing up to it brought us victory?"
"Kind of."
Light surrounded them, as if a switch had been thrown.
"My my, what did I miss?" Carl asked!"
"Nyah!" Deborah excalimed, "Your Dead!!!!"
"Obviously, with the Ancient Darknesses power vanquished, the evil he commited is undone; and Carl lives again!"
"Please don't go into more of this; my head is spinning, I don't understand ..."
"Quiet, you'll give yuorself an anuerism trying to puzzle it all out."
"Really what you're saying is if we think of it as a shared hallucination we'll be able to move on with our lives, as opposed to pondering the unrealness of the entire event?"
"Seriously though, I think the memories of the last few weeks will fade over time; and it will all seem a dream."
"Think about it though, we were drawn from our seperate lives into this whole thing; and now if our memories fade, will that sever the relationships we've forged in this endeavor?"
"Unfortunately I'm sure that will be a side-effect ....." Beatrice trailed off.
"Very well then, my newly found and soon to be lost friends, fair thee well."
"Well then, I guess this is goodbye."
Xenon gases appeared to gather and shimmer in the air as the party said their goodbyes and went thier seperate ways.
"You may have defeated me this time, but there will be new champions and other battles ..." the Ancient Darknesses voice whispered into the night.
Ze End!
by Fordy, Doghouse, Susan, JoLayne, J. Elizabeth, Sue, Marie
Each sentence has to start with the next letter of the alphabet. (The first sentence would start with A, the second with B, the third with C and so on).
"Amazing!" Beatrice thought to herself, as she surveyed the view spread before her.
Behind her stood Carl and Deborah, rolling their eyes at her melodramatic ravings.
"Couldn't they understand," Beatrice thought to herself?
"DOW's back over 7,000 again," Deborah pointed out. “So? We have a long way to go.”
"Even with the Dow rising we still need money and we need it fast if we're gonna carry through with our original plans," muttered Carl.
"For God's sake, Bea," Deborah exclaimed. "Put your iphone away and focus." She looked at Carl's checklist. "Carl? Why do we need a gun?"
"Gun, uh, ummm ... What gun? This gun. Umm, uh, I don't know how it got here..." Carl stammered.
"How dare you lie to me?", Deborah spat and turned to the window and watched the street below.
Ichabod looked at the three of them and thought, "I have to save Humanity with this lot?"
"Just my luck", Ichabod thought as he stubbed out his cigarette and stood to face the room and give the three of them the bad news that would change their lives forever.
"Knives! Duck!", yelled Carl before Ichabod could say more.
Long before any of them could move, a duck holding razor sharp knives flew in through the window and stabbed Carl in the right eye. Deborah screamed and held her hands over her face as the duck flew around the room and back out the window.
Meanwhile, in another location an ancient darkness stirred, "My Mallard of Doom has drawn first blood! Mua ha ha ha!"
"North, you idiot, I told you to fly NORTH and kill, you limp-beaked bastard!", the Ancient Darkness cursed in ancient darkness.
"Obviously we're going to need this," Beatrice mumbled as she pried Carl's Glock from his cold, dead hand.
"Pass me the Saber Saw. We are going to need that too."
"Quite the pleasure device you have there, Ichabod", Deborah said huskily, "but shouldn't we remove the blade before we, you know?"
"Right, I guess... but that sounds boring to me," Ichabod smirked.
"Seriously you two, now is not the time," Beatrice said with resolve, "Carl lies dead not two feet from you, we must formulate a plan and take action!"
"That's it, you're not the boss of me, I'm leaving!" Ichabod screamed.
"Until we know for sure what is outside of these doors, no one crosses that threshold," Beatrice said to Ichabod.
"Voltex Industries," Deborah exclaimed excitingly, pointing out the window at a large van pulling into the parking lot of the Bellagio Hotel.
"Xavier!" She yelled, looking back at Ichabod and Beatrice, "Xavier is driving the van!"
"You have got to be kidding me!" Ichabod remarked, "Has he infiltrated them, or has he turned Benedict? All of our preparations could be for naught!"
"Zig zag all you want, Ichabod. I think everyone in this room knows who the real infiltrator is!"
"Alright! Alright! I admit it. It has been me! Me! this whole time," Ichabod laughed with an evil glint in his eye.
"BASTARD!" Deborah snarled, "And to think what I almost did with your .... saber saw!"
"Carl probably knew about you working with the Ancient Darkness," Beatrice accused, raising the gun to Ichabod's forehead.
"Did you kill him thinking we'd never figure that out?"
"Everyone knew the truth.. you were all just hiding from it" Icabod said,scornfully.
"Frak that Ichy!" Beatrice snarled, "you turned traitor for your own glory, thinking you'll be able to carve out a name for yourself under the totalitarian regime of the Ancient Darkness; you fail to realize that he wants destruction for everyone, including his boot-lickers!!!"
"God Bea, it's always the same conspiracy crap with you isn't it! Get a grip. And quit calling me Ichy!" Ichabod snarled right back!
"Holy Hell Ichy! Pull yourself together. There is a massive conspiracy going on and you need to realize it." Beatrice rubbed the back of her hand against her forehead.
Ichabod saw his chance and grabbed the gun from her hands and wrestled her to the floor.
Jarred by the impact of Beatrice hitting the floor, an antique porcelain vase tottered and fell off the counter catching Ichabod in the back of the head.
"Keystone Kops if ever I've seen them," a voice intoned as the door opened. Xavier entered and purveyed the scene before him.
Laughter, a deep menacing laughter, echoed through the room; filling our intrepid heroes with a foreboding doom.
"M...m... maggots?" Xavier cried as he backpedaled to escape the room and flee from the billions of wiggling larvae, some as large as two feet long, and all looking toward the now open door.
Noting Xavier's apparent discomfort at the squirming larve, Ichabod chuckled to himself. "If you are afraid of those small creatures, wait to see what I have planned for you next," he sneered.
“Oy vey! I didn’t sign up for this!” Deborah intoned.
“Pray you don’t look like lunch,” the menacing voice bellowed.
"Quickly everyone! If we don't act now all will be lost."
"Run all you want; it will do no good." Ichabod intoned, as he surveyed the scene. Carl's lifeless body still lay in the corner, Xavier quivered in fear and disgust at the door, Beatrice sat stunned on the floor not 2 feet from him; but where had Deborah gotten to?
"Saw this!!!" deborah cried as she lunged at ichabod with the saber saw, severing his head from his body.
Thunk, Ichabod's head hit the floor.
"United, we must be united; it's our last chance!" Beatrice wimpered as she slowly rose to her feet.
Valiant is how they felt! Nothing could stop them now!
Wonderous was their feeling of pride.
"Xinjiang, Xinjiang China is where we shall go!" Deborah then shouted!
"You're out of your mind!", Beatrice said. "Zimbabwe, maybe?"
And so it goes...... The End.
"but ... But was Ichabod the Ancient Darkness or his minion? We thought he was on our side, and he wasn't; what were we trying to accomplish?"
"Close your eyes and try not to think on it too much."
"Dammit - I want answers, and a conclusion. All these plot threads dropped for convenience, I don't understand" Deborah wailed.
"Enough! It was a metaphorical fight against the evil that threatens to consume us all. By stopping Ichabod, and standing up for justice and mercy and compassion we vanquished the Ancient Darkness for another day."
"Finshed then? it's all finished, and we can attempt to start anew?"
"Gads - that's what I've been telling you,"
"Honestly, I'm still a little confused - what about the crow?"
"I'm telling you - it was a manfestation of the evil inherent in mankind's collective soul. We stood against it, and in that act alone we won."
"Just standing up to it brought us victory?"
"Kind of."
Light surrounded them, as if a switch had been thrown.
"My my, what did I miss?" Carl asked!"
"Nyah!" Deborah excalimed, "Your Dead!!!!"
"Obviously, with the Ancient Darknesses power vanquished, the evil he commited is undone; and Carl lives again!"
"Please don't go into more of this; my head is spinning, I don't understand ..."
"Quiet, you'll give yuorself an anuerism trying to puzzle it all out."
"Really what you're saying is if we think of it as a shared hallucination we'll be able to move on with our lives, as opposed to pondering the unrealness of the entire event?"
"Seriously though, I think the memories of the last few weeks will fade over time; and it will all seem a dream."
"Think about it though, we were drawn from our seperate lives into this whole thing; and now if our memories fade, will that sever the relationships we've forged in this endeavor?"
"Unfortunately I'm sure that will be a side-effect ....." Beatrice trailed off.
"Very well then, my newly found and soon to be lost friends, fair thee well."
"Well then, I guess this is goodbye."
Xenon gases appeared to gather and shimmer in the air as the party said their goodbyes and went thier seperate ways.
"You may have defeated me this time, but there will be new champions and other battles ..." the Ancient Darknesses voice whispered into the night.
Ze End!
Merry Christmas EC-Spoilers
Merry Christmas EC-Spoilers
by Fordy
Twas the Night Before Christmas, And all through the list
Gearing up for Holiday Cheer, making sure nothing was missed,
Susan in Iowa, boxed up some snow,
To Doghouse she sent it, all wrapped with a bow.
Elizabeth got some tinsel, and spread it with care,
For Semaht was coming, with eggnog to share,
Rowan sends greetings from New Zealand to us,
Marie's getting someone else to drive the bus,
Jo and her cows, dressed up all festive,
Garvis sends greetings that are a little suggestive,
Lissa called Santa, to ensure he was on time,
JoLayne under the mistletoe, kissed a French Mime
Sue hung the stockings, some here and some there,
Janet brought the wreathes, all decorated with flair
Brian made snowmen, cluttering the yard
Fordy says Merry Christmas, though he's not much of a bard!
by Fordy
Twas the Night Before Christmas, And all through the list
Gearing up for Holiday Cheer, making sure nothing was missed,
Susan in Iowa, boxed up some snow,
To Doghouse she sent it, all wrapped with a bow.
Elizabeth got some tinsel, and spread it with care,
For Semaht was coming, with eggnog to share,
Rowan sends greetings from New Zealand to us,
Marie's getting someone else to drive the bus,
Jo and her cows, dressed up all festive,
Garvis sends greetings that are a little suggestive,
Lissa called Santa, to ensure he was on time,
JoLayne under the mistletoe, kissed a French Mime
Sue hung the stockings, some here and some there,
Janet brought the wreathes, all decorated with flair
Brian made snowmen, cluttering the yard
Fordy says Merry Christmas, though he's not much of a bard!
Roses Are Red - Summer 2009
Another Roses Are Red Poem/Conversation
by: Fordy, Doghouse, Marie
Roses are red, violets are blue,
the temp today is supposed to be 92.
Roses are red, sunscreen and shades I bought 'em,
but I really can't wait, for the cool days of autumn.
Roses are red, it's the second day of summer.
The heat wave's continued, My thought? That's a bummer.
Roses are red, as people cool off in the lake
I really wouldn't mind seeing a nice cool snowflake.
Roses are Red, And you're not too bored
I thought original posted to Blah, So poem was left, ignored
Roses are red, The sun is finally shining
Time to frolic in the sun, Quit your whining
Roses are red, when the weather's this ripe
I like doing nothing more than bitch and gripe.
Roses are red, I'm not too proud to say
weather this muggy just shouldn't be allowed.
Roses are Red, Rain Falls from the sky,
No lake on the weekend, Until the clouds go goodbye
Roses are red, Criminals are violent
Why is everyone else in the group, Staying so silent?
Roses are red, I don't like to cuss
but I want to know D.A., where is my bus?
Roses are red, I don't know what DA's done with the bus,
but while we wait we can watch Desperado with Antonio Banderas.
Roses are red, to answer DA: I don't know why.
The only thing I can think is everyone's shy.
Roses Are red, And I must confess,
After that party, I made a bit of a mess.
Roses are red, The mess was concealed,
I gave it to Otto And hid it in Springfield
Roses are red, violets are blue
everything's been said, so this poem is now through.
Roses are red, before I hit 'send'
I just wanna add ...The End
by: Fordy, Doghouse, Marie
Roses are red, violets are blue,
the temp today is supposed to be 92.
Roses are red, sunscreen and shades I bought 'em,
but I really can't wait, for the cool days of autumn.
Roses are red, it's the second day of summer.
The heat wave's continued, My thought? That's a bummer.
Roses are red, as people cool off in the lake
I really wouldn't mind seeing a nice cool snowflake.
Roses are Red, And you're not too bored
I thought original posted to Blah, So poem was left, ignored
Roses are red, The sun is finally shining
Time to frolic in the sun, Quit your whining
Roses are red, when the weather's this ripe
I like doing nothing more than bitch and gripe.
Roses are red, I'm not too proud to say
weather this muggy just shouldn't be allowed.
Roses are Red, Rain Falls from the sky,
No lake on the weekend, Until the clouds go goodbye
Roses are red, Criminals are violent
Why is everyone else in the group, Staying so silent?
Roses are red, I don't like to cuss
but I want to know D.A., where is my bus?
Roses are red, I don't know what DA's done with the bus,
but while we wait we can watch Desperado with Antonio Banderas.
Roses are red, to answer DA: I don't know why.
The only thing I can think is everyone's shy.
Roses Are red, And I must confess,
After that party, I made a bit of a mess.
Roses are red, The mess was concealed,
I gave it to Otto And hid it in Springfield
Roses are red, violets are blue
everything's been said, so this poem is now through.
Roses are red, before I hit 'send'
I just wanna add ...The End
Fictional News
One idea tossed around was to make up a fictional news-story. In response to a comment in our very own blog from "Danny Gokey - Doghouse's #1 fan". JoLayne and Doghouse took up this challenge.
**********************************************************************************
AP Wire – from 2 minutes ago Allison, the future Season Eight Idol Winner, was furious when it came to light that her rival, Danny Gokey, not only think he will be the season’s Idol winner, but is also Doghouse’s number one fan. “I can’t believe he would say that, let alone post it in a blog. And two months ago… what an ego. I’M Doghouse’s number one fan and two months ago on Idol there was Lil, Anoop, tattoo girl, and Matt. Tough competition. Danny’s lucky to even still be on the show, let alone the Winner.” She continued, “To be Doghouse’s number one fan, you have to yell Arf Arf! There wasn’t one Arf in his whole blog.”
Attempts to reach Danny Gokey at the Idol mansion were unsuccessful. AP helicopters, circling the grounds for a shot of the husky-throated warbler did manage to capture footage of Adam Lambert and Chris Allen comforting Allison, who was unfairly voted out of last night’s Idol telecast, as she packed her bags.
TMZ reports that Britney Spears has been staking out the Idol mansion in search of a man who can actually sing.
**********************************************************************************
AP Wire – from 2 minutes ago Allison, the future Season Eight Idol Winner, was furious when it came to light that her rival, Danny Gokey, not only think he will be the season’s Idol winner, but is also Doghouse’s number one fan. “I can’t believe he would say that, let alone post it in a blog. And two months ago… what an ego. I’M Doghouse’s number one fan and two months ago on Idol there was Lil, Anoop, tattoo girl, and Matt. Tough competition. Danny’s lucky to even still be on the show, let alone the Winner.” She continued, “To be Doghouse’s number one fan, you have to yell Arf Arf! There wasn’t one Arf in his whole blog.”
Attempts to reach Danny Gokey at the Idol mansion were unsuccessful. AP helicopters, circling the grounds for a shot of the husky-throated warbler did manage to capture footage of Adam Lambert and Chris Allen comforting Allison, who was unfairly voted out of last night’s Idol telecast, as she packed her bags.
TMZ reports that Britney Spears has been staking out the Idol mansion in search of a man who can actually sing.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Two Word Chapters
Two Word Chapters
By Qbryzan, Fordy, Susan, Doghouse, Enyajo, Garvis, Jo, Sue, Tina, and J. Elizabeth
The rules are simple: each person adds a chapter to the story, but each chapter must be 2 words long, no more, no less.
Chapter 1:Villain enters.
Chapter 2:Villain sneers.
Chapter 3:Jane screams.
Chapter 4:Alex turned...
Chapter 5:Phone rings
Chapter 6:Lightning flashes.
Chapter 7:Floor creaks.
Chapter 8:Mom called.
Chapter 10"Come home!!!!"
Chapter 11Phone Dies!
Chapter 12Villain laughs.
Chapter 13:Jane cries!
Chapter 14Alex faints
Chapter 15:Villian grunts...
Chapter 16:Where's Chapter9
Highly anticipated Chapter 9:Time Travel
Chapter 17:Alex moans.
Chapter 18:"Not Again!"
Chapter 19:"Surprised, Alex?"
Chapter 20:"Go AWAY"
Chapter 21:"Try again."
Chapter 22:"Pretty Please"
Chapter 23:"No way."
Chapter 24:"Why not?"
Chapter 25Frosted Flakes
Chapter 26:Sunrise. Rain.
Chapter 27:Foggy. Cold.
Chapter 28:"Alex?" "ALEX?"
Chapter 29"You .... Jane?"
Chapter 30:Pants: Where?
Chapter 31:Moon shines.
Chapter 32:"Hmmm... impressive!"
Chapter 33:"You like?"
Chapter 34:"You bet!"
Chapter 35:"Wanna touch?"
Chapter 36:"Maybe later."
Chapter 37:"Not now?"
Chapter 38:"Too hungry."
Chapter 39:"Wanna eat"?
Chapter 40:"Whatcha got?"
Chapter 41:"Olive pizza!"
Chapter 42:"You serious?"
Chapter 43:"Oh yeah!"
Chapter 44:Jane talking?
Chapter 45:Or villain?
Chapter 46:Pizza scary?
Chapter 47:Not villian.
Chapter 48:Maybe Alex?
Chapter 49:Let's listen.
Chapter 50:"Alex, hun?"
Chapter 51:"Yes, dear."
(Chapter 52:It's Alex!)
Chapter 53:"Do you . . . "
Chapter 54:"Smell something?"
Chapter 55:"Yes, it's . . ."
Chapter 56:"Is it. . . "
Chapter 57:"Fire. FIRE!"
Chapter 58:"Save yourself!"
Chapter 59:"I'll die."
Chapter 60:"Are you...?
Chapter 61:"Serious? Yes."
Chapter 61:"You can't!"
Chapter 62:"Why not?"
Chapter 63:"Because I..."
Chapter 64:"You what?"
Chapter 65:"Love you!"
Chapter 66:"Really? REALLY??"
Chapter 67:"Yes. Somewhat."
Chapter 68:"Now what?"
Chapter 69:"Marriage. Children."
Chapter 70:"That's it?"
Chapter 71:"What else."
Chapter 72:"Matching tattoos."
Chapter 73:"I'm allergic."
Chapter 74:"To tattoos?
Chapter 75: "To you."
Chapter 76:"TO ME?"
Chapter 77:"Well, uh."
Chapter 78:"The marriage?"
Chapter 79:"It's off."
Chapter 80:"Your love?"
Chapter 81:"For you?"
hapter 82:"Yes, duh."
Chapter 83:"It's forever."
Chapter 84:"Then it's?"
Chapter 85:"Yes, goodbye."<>
Chapter 86:"What's wrong?"
Chapter 87:"Oh, nothing."
Chapter 88:"You know..."
Chapter 89:"Yes? what?"
Chapter 90:"We'll always..."
Chapter 91:"Have Paris?"
Chapter 93:"Well, yes."
Chapter 92:"How cliche."
Chapter 93:"I'm sorry."
Chapter 94:"Leave now."
Chapter 95:"Breakup sex?"
Chapter 96:"Fuck you."
Chapter 97:"That hurt."
Chapter 98:"Too bad."
Chapter 99:"Fire's out."
Chapter 100:"Who cares."
Chapter 101:No Tattoos?
By Qbryzan, Fordy, Susan, Doghouse, Enyajo, Garvis, Jo, Sue, Tina, and J. Elizabeth
The rules are simple: each person adds a chapter to the story, but each chapter must be 2 words long, no more, no less.
Chapter 1:Villain enters.
Chapter 2:Villain sneers.
Chapter 3:Jane screams.
Chapter 4:Alex turned...
Chapter 5:Phone rings
Chapter 6:Lightning flashes.
Chapter 7:Floor creaks.
Chapter 8:Mom called.
Chapter 10"Come home!!!!"
Chapter 11Phone Dies!
Chapter 12Villain laughs.
Chapter 13:Jane cries!
Chapter 14Alex faints
Chapter 15:Villian grunts...
Chapter 16:Where's Chapter9
Highly anticipated Chapter 9:Time Travel
Chapter 17:Alex moans.
Chapter 18:"Not Again!"
Chapter 19:"Surprised, Alex?"
Chapter 20:"Go AWAY"
Chapter 21:"Try again."
Chapter 22:"Pretty Please"
Chapter 23:"No way."
Chapter 24:"Why not?"
Chapter 25Frosted Flakes
Chapter 26:Sunrise. Rain.
Chapter 27:Foggy. Cold.
Chapter 28:"Alex?" "ALEX?"
Chapter 29"You .... Jane?"
Chapter 30:Pants: Where?
Chapter 31:Moon shines.
Chapter 32:"Hmmm... impressive!"
Chapter 33:"You like?"
Chapter 34:"You bet!"
Chapter 35:"Wanna touch?"
Chapter 36:"Maybe later."
Chapter 37:"Not now?"
Chapter 38:"Too hungry."
Chapter 39:"Wanna eat"?
Chapter 40:"Whatcha got?"
Chapter 41:"Olive pizza!"
Chapter 42:"You serious?"
Chapter 43:"Oh yeah!"
Chapter 44:Jane talking?
Chapter 45:Or villain?
Chapter 46:Pizza scary?
Chapter 47:Not villian.
Chapter 48:Maybe Alex?
Chapter 49:Let's listen.
Chapter 50:"Alex, hun?"
Chapter 51:"Yes, dear."
(Chapter 52:It's Alex!)
Chapter 53:"Do you . . . "
Chapter 54:"Smell something?"
Chapter 55:"Yes, it's . . ."
Chapter 56:"Is it. . . "
Chapter 57:"Fire. FIRE!"
Chapter 58:"Save yourself!"
Chapter 59:"I'll die."
Chapter 60:"Are you...?
Chapter 61:"Serious? Yes."
Chapter 61:"You can't!"
Chapter 62:"Why not?"
Chapter 63:"Because I..."
Chapter 64:"You what?"
Chapter 65:"Love you!"
Chapter 66:"Really? REALLY??"
Chapter 67:"Yes. Somewhat."
Chapter 68:"Now what?"
Chapter 69:"Marriage. Children."
Chapter 70:"That's it?"
Chapter 71:"What else."
Chapter 72:"Matching tattoos."
Chapter 73:"I'm allergic."
Chapter 74:"To tattoos?
Chapter 75: "To you."
Chapter 76:"TO ME?"
Chapter 77:"Well, uh."
Chapter 78:"The marriage?"
Chapter 79:"It's off."
Chapter 80:"Your love?"
Chapter 81:"For you?"
hapter 82:"Yes, duh."
Chapter 83:"It's forever."
Chapter 84:"Then it's?"
Chapter 85:"Yes, goodbye."<>
Chapter 86:"What's wrong?"
Chapter 87:"Oh, nothing."
Chapter 88:"You know..."
Chapter 89:"Yes? what?"
Chapter 90:"We'll always..."
Chapter 91:"Have Paris?"
Chapter 93:"Well, yes."
Chapter 92:"How cliche."
Chapter 93:"I'm sorry."
Chapter 94:"Leave now."
Chapter 95:"Breakup sex?"
Chapter 96:"Fuck you."
Chapter 97:"That hurt."
Chapter 98:"Too bad."
Chapter 99:"Fire's out."
Chapter 100:"Who cares."
Chapter 101:No Tattoos?
New Poem - No Zombies Allowed!
New Poem - No Zombies Allowed! by Susan, Fordy, Doghouse, Enyajo, Tina
It was a cold day in Iowa,
A little snow landed on my just washed car,
And a wet day in BC,
At least all the snow is gone, au revoir,
And a day of flurries in Minnesota,
Snow everywhere you look, near and far,
Twas to get up to 37 today,
But at 25, it seemed to stay.
Not to change the subject and not to talk about a quota,
but we've got two people here from here from thegreat state of Minnesota!
Ah... to be in Iowa, you both are known to dream
But sad you are not cool enough to live where the grass is always green.
Life's a balance, sometimes one gives, sometimes one takes,
but we live in the land of 10,000 plus lakes!
Home of Norm Coleman, and that's a fact.
Now that's a Minnesotan who is really whacked!
Enoguh of these States, I'm taking a stand,
Let's talk more of Canada, a land that's Truly Grand!
Where a polygamist was arrest for having 19 wives,
Poor Lil; Fordy is now feeling deprived.
Back to Norm Coleman, he's whacked, yes, it's felt,
but putting him in rhyme is hitting below the belt!
\Said belt is prepared for Childress, standing proud and tall
Attempting to rationalize to press why they dropped the ball.
I had to Google Childress because I am out of the 'Sota loop
Time to get a new coach, one who isn't such a dupe.
Enough of the weather, Enough of this Fluff,
Let's talk TV and movies, and other important stuff
TV you say, oh my what is that?
I can surf all 400 channels in 60 seconds flat.
400 channels and still nothing to view
for more than a minute or two
Two more weeks for the show called Lost,
'til that time I shall get sauced
Hope we see a certain statue's four toes
I wonder where the Island goes?
I heard somewhere it's displaced in time,
I bet the O6 hunt for it will lead to crime.
Well Sayid, the assassin is now involved
The mysteries might yet get solved.
Four toes, five toes or even the whole hoof,
it's too late now 'cuz my TV's Lost-proof.
Ane while I have a sec I wanna go back to Brad
and say the way you coach the Vikes is bad, bad, bad.
I'm tired of the coach thinking he's Hoss
I long for the days of Culpepper-Moss.
Randy Moss was alright, a pretty high stepper,
but I'll pass on the second, you can keep Culpepper.
More sports talk, which is all meaningless to me,
Lets' talk about Rock Band, and other games for my Wii!
We don't all have a Wii so are you telling us it's all about you?
This is something we'll have to work through!
Wii you say, who cares I don't For Lost is the only thing to discuss
The time of the year to revel and dream
Of the many scenes and plot twists to make us scream
With delight and Aha's finally we know
Answers to questions that began long ago
We will get some answers, I do pray
January 21st, yes that is THE DAY
Will the flashes be back or flashes forward?
Not one single nugget have I heard.
It's refreshing to be spoiler free
Shocked and awed by the finale
Questions are tricky
Lost fans are picky
Darlton, don't be pokey,
Just what the heck is smokey?
You Lost fans are fanatics, that much we know,
I just want the dish on that missing concrete toe.
And when they're all done playing in those Lost island spas
does anyone think they'll bring back Adebisi from Oz?
Fanatics galore and theories abound
Richard Alpert's toe is concrete bound
It was a cold day in Iowa,
A little snow landed on my just washed car,
And a wet day in BC,
At least all the snow is gone, au revoir,
And a day of flurries in Minnesota,
Snow everywhere you look, near and far,
Twas to get up to 37 today,
But at 25, it seemed to stay.
Not to change the subject and not to talk about a quota,
but we've got two people here from here from thegreat state of Minnesota!
Ah... to be in Iowa, you both are known to dream
But sad you are not cool enough to live where the grass is always green.
Life's a balance, sometimes one gives, sometimes one takes,
but we live in the land of 10,000 plus lakes!
Home of Norm Coleman, and that's a fact.
Now that's a Minnesotan who is really whacked!
Enoguh of these States, I'm taking a stand,
Let's talk more of Canada, a land that's Truly Grand!
Where a polygamist was arrest for having 19 wives,
Poor Lil; Fordy is now feeling deprived.
Back to Norm Coleman, he's whacked, yes, it's felt,
but putting him in rhyme is hitting below the belt!
\Said belt is prepared for Childress, standing proud and tall
Attempting to rationalize to press why they dropped the ball.
I had to Google Childress because I am out of the 'Sota loop
Time to get a new coach, one who isn't such a dupe.
Enough of the weather, Enough of this Fluff,
Let's talk TV and movies, and other important stuff
TV you say, oh my what is that?
I can surf all 400 channels in 60 seconds flat.
400 channels and still nothing to view
for more than a minute or two
Two more weeks for the show called Lost,
'til that time I shall get sauced
Hope we see a certain statue's four toes
I wonder where the Island goes?
I heard somewhere it's displaced in time,
I bet the O6 hunt for it will lead to crime.
Well Sayid, the assassin is now involved
The mysteries might yet get solved.
Four toes, five toes or even the whole hoof,
it's too late now 'cuz my TV's Lost-proof.
Ane while I have a sec I wanna go back to Brad
and say the way you coach the Vikes is bad, bad, bad.
I'm tired of the coach thinking he's Hoss
I long for the days of Culpepper-Moss.
Randy Moss was alright, a pretty high stepper,
but I'll pass on the second, you can keep Culpepper.
More sports talk, which is all meaningless to me,
Lets' talk about Rock Band, and other games for my Wii!
We don't all have a Wii so are you telling us it's all about you?
This is something we'll have to work through!
Wii you say, who cares I don't For Lost is the only thing to discuss
The time of the year to revel and dream
Of the many scenes and plot twists to make us scream
With delight and Aha's finally we know
Answers to questions that began long ago
We will get some answers, I do pray
January 21st, yes that is THE DAY
Will the flashes be back or flashes forward?
Not one single nugget have I heard.
It's refreshing to be spoiler free
Shocked and awed by the finale
Questions are tricky
Lost fans are picky
Darlton, don't be pokey,
Just what the heck is smokey?
You Lost fans are fanatics, that much we know,
I just want the dish on that missing concrete toe.
And when they're all done playing in those Lost island spas
does anyone think they'll bring back Adebisi from Oz?
Fanatics galore and theories abound
Richard Alpert's toe is concrete bound
No Zombies Allowed
No Zombies Allowed
by Fordy, Susan, Doghouse, and Garvis
by Fordy, Susan, Doghouse, and Garvis
No Zombies allowed!
Not alone, and not in a crowd!
Not on a boat, Or riding a goat.
Not in a train, Not eating brains?
Not in his FTLs or even his Hanes.
Not if they're nuts or munching guts?
Especially not if they're noshing cerebral cold cuts!
No tales of the undead to be told,
It leaves Suzie Q, witha feeling of dread, out in the Cold,
Worried that people who are coming, are full of growing mold.
I Have a Secret
I HAVE A SECRET
This exercise is ideal for writing groups, but can be done with as few as two people. By exchanging secrets, fiction writers are prompted to explore a topic they may not have considered otherwise.
Here's How: Each writer should take out a piece of paper.Write down one secret and fold the paper up.Put all of the secrets in a hat, box, or other container.Each person draws a secret. Use the secret you receive as a jumping-off point for your short story.
by Fordy, Doghouse, and Marie
***
I was riding the subway, minding my own business. I hate rush hour! Damn train is always over-full. We're packed like sardines in a tin can. Damn city! I stood up to offer my seat to a young pregnant woman, when some punk sits right down.
"Buddy! have some class," I retort. "What happened to manners?"
The punk looks at me with a steely gaze. "Fuck You!" he sneers, as he turns away. Punks! This whole misbegotten generation, it's the downfall of all society. The train continues to roll-along.
At each stop people get off, and more people get in. One classless slob after another. When did I become such a pillar of society? I may have sometimes been an asshat to get to my position, but I at least maintained the illusion of manners and class. As I continue to muse on the sins of this latest generation, I start to feel an itch in my nose. A maddening itch. That appears to grow worse as it continues.
Damn Allergies! I knew I should've taken a claritan this morning. Ever so subtle I rub my hand along the outside of my nose to try to relieve the itch. ACK! It's just gotten worse. What to do? How can I relieve it, without picking my nose on this crowded train? A tic-tac! I can take a tic-tac, and while I'm shaking the tic-tac into my mouth, I can get a 'scratch' in. I fumble in my pockets, for my tic-tacs. Quickly! Before the itch gets any worse.
At last, relief is a mere moment away. As I bring the tic-tac container up to my face, I feel a sneeze start working it's way through my nasal cavaity. NO! Not when relief is only a moment away. Please, not know. I muffle the sneeze as best I can; but a little booger flew out of the itching nostril ... right into the tic-tac tumbling into my mouth. Gack! I almost choked. Oh God! Did anyone see? Does anyone know? My face is flush with embarrasment. I can't let anyone know that I ate a booger.
***
Ghosts don't frighten me. It's not like I walk around chanting the Cowardly Lion's mantra of believing in ghosts all day, but I don't buy into that whole ghost thing.
My grandfather died on my 37th birthday. I had gone out after work that day and I got home a little later than usual and I was a little worried because my grandfather would always call me on my birthday and I didn't want to miss the call. It wasn't a big deal really because I could always call him back, but there was a certain thrill to picking up the phone and hearing his voice on the other end saying, "Hello, son. Happy birthday.", and after all these years it was almost a ritual and I didn't want to break it. I tossed down my jacket and checked the answering machine. No blinking light there so that was good news. I relaxed a little bit and started to make some dinner.
My grandfather and I were always very close. He was a wholesale floor covering salesman and he spent most of his days out on the road traveling a region selling linoleum. About a week and a half a month he'd spend in town on paperwork. The story is that he was out of town the week I was born and the night before my mother went into labor he came home because he had the feeling he was needed.
The expected phone call didn't come during dinner and I shrugged it off with the thought that he'd probably fallen asleep and grandma didn't want to wake him up right away. He'd just gotten out of the hospital two weeks prior to my birthday after hurting his knee in a fall and they kept him for a few extra days to monitor his irregular heartbeat so I could understand why he might be napping. Still it was strange. It was a break in the ritual and it made me uncomfortable.
At 6:40 the phone rang. I had dozed off myself and I jumped awake and grabbed it on the first ring, a little muddy-headed, but happy that he was calling. The call was from my mother. Her voice was strange and I couldn't make out what she was saying. I asked her what she said and I could feel her breath on the other end of the phone. "My father's dead", she said.
I could say that I knew exactly when he died but that would make a short story that's gone on too long even longer. Yes, my grandfather and I were always very close. Despite the fact that he's been gone now for all these long years, we're still close. Birthdays are a little different now, but he still wishes me a happy birthday every year. Sometimes I even talk to him about things that are on my mind and I ask for his advice and once in awhile, not always, I get it. My grandfather and I are still close because I've been seeing the ghost of a 70 year old man for over ten years.
***
When I was young I never thought my father would get old. What did I know? People get old and they die. I should know. My beloved grandfather died at the age of 70. I miss him daily even though it has been many, many years.
I have been caring for my ill father for 10 years now. I love my father and would do anything for him. We have spent countless hours reminiscing about old times. I loved the days we could just sit with each other and be together. I could listen to the stories about my fathers childhood forever if given the chance.
My father is not doing well. I am losing part of him everyday. I have started to organize the house to occupy my time lately. I find that my father can no longer sit and talk with me about the past like he once did. This makes me sad but I have found going through my father things is almost like taking a walk through the past.
I sat down next to my fathers bed with all the old photographs of people long gone, of myself as a baby, of people I will never know and of those who I knew well but have gone. I took my time with each picture, remembering how things use to be. This makes me happy and sad all at the same time. I picked up a particular picture of my grandfather taken at the end of his life. The picture was taken on his 70th birthday just a month before his death. Such a handsome face at one time but in the picture, the signs of age and illness are very easily seen. As I sat and looked at this picture I realized I have seen that face recently. I looked at my father and realized that I have been seeing the ghost of a 70 year old man for over ten years.
***
This exercise is ideal for writing groups, but can be done with as few as two people. By exchanging secrets, fiction writers are prompted to explore a topic they may not have considered otherwise.
Here's How: Each writer should take out a piece of paper.Write down one secret and fold the paper up.Put all of the secrets in a hat, box, or other container.Each person draws a secret. Use the secret you receive as a jumping-off point for your short story.
by Fordy, Doghouse, and Marie
***
I was riding the subway, minding my own business. I hate rush hour! Damn train is always over-full. We're packed like sardines in a tin can. Damn city! I stood up to offer my seat to a young pregnant woman, when some punk sits right down.
"Buddy! have some class," I retort. "What happened to manners?"
The punk looks at me with a steely gaze. "Fuck You!" he sneers, as he turns away. Punks! This whole misbegotten generation, it's the downfall of all society. The train continues to roll-along.
At each stop people get off, and more people get in. One classless slob after another. When did I become such a pillar of society? I may have sometimes been an asshat to get to my position, but I at least maintained the illusion of manners and class. As I continue to muse on the sins of this latest generation, I start to feel an itch in my nose. A maddening itch. That appears to grow worse as it continues.
Damn Allergies! I knew I should've taken a claritan this morning. Ever so subtle I rub my hand along the outside of my nose to try to relieve the itch. ACK! It's just gotten worse. What to do? How can I relieve it, without picking my nose on this crowded train? A tic-tac! I can take a tic-tac, and while I'm shaking the tic-tac into my mouth, I can get a 'scratch' in. I fumble in my pockets, for my tic-tacs. Quickly! Before the itch gets any worse.
At last, relief is a mere moment away. As I bring the tic-tac container up to my face, I feel a sneeze start working it's way through my nasal cavaity. NO! Not when relief is only a moment away. Please, not know. I muffle the sneeze as best I can; but a little booger flew out of the itching nostril ... right into the tic-tac tumbling into my mouth. Gack! I almost choked. Oh God! Did anyone see? Does anyone know? My face is flush with embarrasment. I can't let anyone know that I ate a booger.
***
Ghosts don't frighten me. It's not like I walk around chanting the Cowardly Lion's mantra of believing in ghosts all day, but I don't buy into that whole ghost thing.
My grandfather died on my 37th birthday. I had gone out after work that day and I got home a little later than usual and I was a little worried because my grandfather would always call me on my birthday and I didn't want to miss the call. It wasn't a big deal really because I could always call him back, but there was a certain thrill to picking up the phone and hearing his voice on the other end saying, "Hello, son. Happy birthday.", and after all these years it was almost a ritual and I didn't want to break it. I tossed down my jacket and checked the answering machine. No blinking light there so that was good news. I relaxed a little bit and started to make some dinner.
My grandfather and I were always very close. He was a wholesale floor covering salesman and he spent most of his days out on the road traveling a region selling linoleum. About a week and a half a month he'd spend in town on paperwork. The story is that he was out of town the week I was born and the night before my mother went into labor he came home because he had the feeling he was needed.
The expected phone call didn't come during dinner and I shrugged it off with the thought that he'd probably fallen asleep and grandma didn't want to wake him up right away. He'd just gotten out of the hospital two weeks prior to my birthday after hurting his knee in a fall and they kept him for a few extra days to monitor his irregular heartbeat so I could understand why he might be napping. Still it was strange. It was a break in the ritual and it made me uncomfortable.
At 6:40 the phone rang. I had dozed off myself and I jumped awake and grabbed it on the first ring, a little muddy-headed, but happy that he was calling. The call was from my mother. Her voice was strange and I couldn't make out what she was saying. I asked her what she said and I could feel her breath on the other end of the phone. "My father's dead", she said.
I could say that I knew exactly when he died but that would make a short story that's gone on too long even longer. Yes, my grandfather and I were always very close. Despite the fact that he's been gone now for all these long years, we're still close. Birthdays are a little different now, but he still wishes me a happy birthday every year. Sometimes I even talk to him about things that are on my mind and I ask for his advice and once in awhile, not always, I get it. My grandfather and I are still close because I've been seeing the ghost of a 70 year old man for over ten years.
***
When I was young I never thought my father would get old. What did I know? People get old and they die. I should know. My beloved grandfather died at the age of 70. I miss him daily even though it has been many, many years.
I have been caring for my ill father for 10 years now. I love my father and would do anything for him. We have spent countless hours reminiscing about old times. I loved the days we could just sit with each other and be together. I could listen to the stories about my fathers childhood forever if given the chance.
My father is not doing well. I am losing part of him everyday. I have started to organize the house to occupy my time lately. I find that my father can no longer sit and talk with me about the past like he once did. This makes me sad but I have found going through my father things is almost like taking a walk through the past.
I sat down next to my fathers bed with all the old photographs of people long gone, of myself as a baby, of people I will never know and of those who I knew well but have gone. I took my time with each picture, remembering how things use to be. This makes me happy and sad all at the same time. I picked up a particular picture of my grandfather taken at the end of his life. The picture was taken on his 70th birthday just a month before his death. Such a handsome face at one time but in the picture, the signs of age and illness are very easily seen. As I sat and looked at this picture I realized I have seen that face recently. I looked at my father and realized that I have been seeing the ghost of a 70 year old man for over ten years.
***
Haiku Anyone
Haiku Anyone
by Fordy, Melody, Sue, Marie, J. Elizabeth, Tina and Celt
Silence Reigns in group,
Perhaps this prompts,
CreativeJuices to flow free?
Ginny was my cat
She has crossed the rainbow bridge
May she rest in peace
My condolences,
Heartfelt, extended to you
your heart, She remains
Roses are red, Violets are blue
I'm rather irked today, How about you?
Roses are red, dead flowers are black
I am in agreement with you, My mood is no better
Roses are red, Our days is crap
Let's wander around looking, for someone to slap!!!
Roses are red, That could take awhile
My boss' day present, just made me smile!
Roses are red, I am off to drive
At least my kiddos, keep me nice
Roses are red, Man was it hot today!
90 degrees is way to hot!! It's October, not May
Oh how my head aches
Give me some aspirin to
get rid of the pain
Roses and Violets
Haiku or Not to Haiku
Poetry is Poetry
The snow falls gently
Covering all it touches
The world is reborn
Naughty limericks
Or verse with rhyme and meter
Please more than Haiku
Or so you would think
In our Western love of rhyme
Instead of free verse
Me, I enjoy both
The joy is in crafting words
To paint soul pictures
Kenai squeaks to me
Waits by the door of his cage
To come out to play
Soft and fluffy fur
Ebony eyes full of wonder
Look to me for love
Dear sweet child of mine
Daughter of my heart and soul
Asleep in my arms
Sparkling, cheerful girl
Smiles so wide I just laugh
My heart fills with joy
by Fordy, Melody, Sue, Marie, J. Elizabeth, Tina and Celt
Silence Reigns in group,
Perhaps this prompts,
CreativeJuices to flow free?
Ginny was my cat
She has crossed the rainbow bridge
May she rest in peace
My condolences,
Heartfelt, extended to you
your heart, She remains
Roses are red, Violets are blue
I'm rather irked today, How about you?
Roses are red, dead flowers are black
I am in agreement with you, My mood is no better
Roses are red, Our days is crap
Let's wander around looking, for someone to slap!!!
Roses are red, That could take awhile
My boss' day present, just made me smile!
Roses are red, I am off to drive
At least my kiddos, keep me nice
Roses are red, Man was it hot today!
90 degrees is way to hot!! It's October, not May
Oh how my head aches
Give me some aspirin to
get rid of the pain
Roses and Violets
Haiku or Not to Haiku
Poetry is Poetry
The snow falls gently
Covering all it touches
The world is reborn
Naughty limericks
Or verse with rhyme and meter
Please more than Haiku
Or so you would think
In our Western love of rhyme
Instead of free verse
Me, I enjoy both
The joy is in crafting words
To paint soul pictures
Kenai squeaks to me
Waits by the door of his cage
To come out to play
Soft and fluffy fur
Ebony eyes full of wonder
Look to me for love
Dear sweet child of mine
Daughter of my heart and soul
Asleep in my arms
Sparkling, cheerful girl
Smiles so wide I just laugh
My heart fills with joy
Obscure Song Re-Write
Obscure Song Re-Write
by Susan, Fordy, Celt, Doghouse, J. Elizabeth, Marie, and Tina
Rewrite a song. Someone post the first line of a song they know.It might be best that it an obscure song. We take that line andbuild a collaborative poem from it. When it is done we post thelyrics of the original and see how different they are. [The Obscure Song was First of May by Jonathan Coulton]
I woke up this morning
I had a scone and a large house blend
I could barely stand up, baby,
I believe I got the bends!
When a person needs caffeine
Don't give me this decaf crap
To Hades with you Barista,
Do you take me for some kinda sap?
I know it's the bad influences
I've gotta change this circle of friends
Late nights mean morning bites
And it's a cycle that never ends
Give me my Java now! I cry
Withholding it like your love
Your love I can do without
My morning brew I can not
When I got up this morning,
I should have gotten right back into bed.
and slept off this excessive feeling of dread
I mighta killed someone last night baby..But it's all cloudy in my head...
Give me coffee! Give me coffee!
I demand of thee!
But, wait, I can't stay here to drink it,I must flee!
I can hear the sirens, baby,
Oh those coppers are after me.
Oh what did I do in my dream of dreams?
I thought it was not real, who did I kill?
I killed the beggar who was at my door,
He wanted me to let him sleep on my floor
I put him out of his misery
And really just let his soul free
And who could blame me?
No stimulant will help me now,
I needed my fix; now I'm bound for hell,
No coffee lead to mercy killing,
My descent has barely begun,
I'm furtherdownward-spiraling
Maybe I need something a little more strong,
If only I knew where I put my bong
Because that really calms my mood
And then I wouldn't have to think about that dude.
Sprawled out dead across my floor,
I should dump him at the Jersey Shore.
I shouldn'ta smoked that weed, I'm getting too paranoid to think
and the beggar's body is starting to stink.
by Susan, Fordy, Celt, Doghouse, J. Elizabeth, Marie, and Tina
Rewrite a song. Someone post the first line of a song they know.It might be best that it an obscure song. We take that line andbuild a collaborative poem from it. When it is done we post thelyrics of the original and see how different they are. [The Obscure Song was First of May by Jonathan Coulton]
I woke up this morning
I had a scone and a large house blend
I could barely stand up, baby,
I believe I got the bends!
When a person needs caffeine
Don't give me this decaf crap
To Hades with you Barista,
Do you take me for some kinda sap?
I know it's the bad influences
I've gotta change this circle of friends
Late nights mean morning bites
And it's a cycle that never ends
Give me my Java now! I cry
Withholding it like your love
Your love I can do without
My morning brew I can not
When I got up this morning,
I should have gotten right back into bed.
and slept off this excessive feeling of dread
I mighta killed someone last night baby..But it's all cloudy in my head...
Give me coffee! Give me coffee!
I demand of thee!
But, wait, I can't stay here to drink it,I must flee!
I can hear the sirens, baby,
Oh those coppers are after me.
Oh what did I do in my dream of dreams?
I thought it was not real, who did I kill?
I killed the beggar who was at my door,
He wanted me to let him sleep on my floor
I put him out of his misery
And really just let his soul free
And who could blame me?
No stimulant will help me now,
I needed my fix; now I'm bound for hell,
No coffee lead to mercy killing,
My descent has barely begun,
I'm furtherdownward-spiraling
Maybe I need something a little more strong,
If only I knew where I put my bong
Because that really calms my mood
And then I wouldn't have to think about that dude.
Sprawled out dead across my floor,
I should dump him at the Jersey Shore.
I shouldn'ta smoked that weed, I'm getting too paranoid to think
and the beggar's body is starting to stink.
"And Slowly I Turned ..."
"And Slowly I Turned ..."
by Doghouse, Susan, Fordy, Marie, and Jo
"And slowly I turned...." and caught my toe on a stupid crack in the pavement and twisted my knee and fell down just as she walked past me. I didn't know what was worse, her and her friends laughing, or the knife-like pain I was suddenly feeling in my left knee.
Then I realized that I recognized that laugh! It was Marie! Laughing at me.! I though wewere friends! In pain, I stretched out my hand.. hoping that she would take it... hoping that she would offer to help me up. Instead she glanced over at April, and the two of them walked away.. laughing... at my expense.
"I'll get them yet." I thought to myself as I rubbed my knee. Who do those two think they are anyway? Laughing at my mis-fortune. What if I'd broken my leg? or hit my head and gone into a coma?
A coma! No one ever thinks about those who fall on daily basis and end up left there, layingon sidewalks in comas! Its a country-wide dilemma. No, no..they just step over them and go about their day.
I slowly picked myself up with these disturbing thoughts running through my head. What if I had fallen into a coma? My will wasn't current and up-to-date - the whore that broke my heart would still get everything. And knowing her she'd authorize to pull the plug in a heart beat, just as long as she could still collect the life insurance. And my goldfish? Who would take care of him? And my apartment? It's a mess, and people would go in and think I lived in filth. Oh the horror of it all. As these morbid scenario's continued to play out, I slowly turned ...
And there in front of me was the answer to all my prayers, my hopes and my dreams! I couldn't believe it. If I had never fallen, I wouldn't have seen it...
Marie approached me, with her hand held out. Still with a sniker on her face, she tried to hide. She helped me up and and dusted me off. Marie is nice after all.
My heart palpitations over those nagging coma thoughts were starting to quiet down a little and despite the burning pain in my knee that maybe wasn't a sprain or twist, but something worse, like undiagnosed disease type or worse, I reached up and took Marie's outstretched hand. As she was slowly pulling me to my feet I saw a shadow move behind her. "Look out, Marie", I shouted.
And she slowly turned . . .
April looked very strange. Not like herself. April was drooling and had turned into a zombie. She reached for Marie and.....
. . . shee let go of my hand and I fell back and banged the back of my head against the pavement and it really hurt but I was thankful that my cap broke my fall and prevented what could have been a catastrophic head injury. I was worrying about the symptoms of a concussion and thinking I might be having some of them right now when April asked Marie why she jumped back so suddenly. "B...b...because you're a ZOMBIE!" "No, Marie, this is just my new Halloween costume! Don't you like it?" Just then a street vendor rounded the corner and . . .
He wanted to know what kind of cap that was that could break a fall like that. Maybe he could make a fortune selling them.
"Can I look at your cap? Did you make it or buy it?" He asked. But I felt dizzy (and a little embarrassed) when I started to explain that I had knitted it myself.
"Yeah, uh, I did, uh, wait, what did you ask?"
It's not that knitting myself a cap was a, well, unmanly, thing to do, but who's ever gonna say that a guy, whoever he is, who knits isn't maybe just a little bit femmy? Not me, which is why I make it a rule to never admit to doing the knitting. Even an excuse that it came from grandma is enough to bring about those looks, so my standard story is that I got it on sale at a camping store and I didn't even know why I had grabbed it today, you know how it is, right?, but this time, because of the dizziness and the knock on the head that hopefully wasn't suddenly bleeding internally right now, it made me tell the truth.
"About the hat. The knitting. That's pretty femmy that you knit, you know?"
"Yeah, it's a long story though and I really don't have a lot of time right now so if you could just give me a hand and help me back up to my feet I'd really appreciate it."
"Will you knit me one?"
by Doghouse, Susan, Fordy, Marie, and Jo
"And slowly I turned...." and caught my toe on a stupid crack in the pavement and twisted my knee and fell down just as she walked past me. I didn't know what was worse, her and her friends laughing, or the knife-like pain I was suddenly feeling in my left knee.
Then I realized that I recognized that laugh! It was Marie! Laughing at me.! I though wewere friends! In pain, I stretched out my hand.. hoping that she would take it... hoping that she would offer to help me up. Instead she glanced over at April, and the two of them walked away.. laughing... at my expense.
"I'll get them yet." I thought to myself as I rubbed my knee. Who do those two think they are anyway? Laughing at my mis-fortune. What if I'd broken my leg? or hit my head and gone into a coma?
A coma! No one ever thinks about those who fall on daily basis and end up left there, layingon sidewalks in comas! Its a country-wide dilemma. No, no..they just step over them and go about their day.
I slowly picked myself up with these disturbing thoughts running through my head. What if I had fallen into a coma? My will wasn't current and up-to-date - the whore that broke my heart would still get everything. And knowing her she'd authorize to pull the plug in a heart beat, just as long as she could still collect the life insurance. And my goldfish? Who would take care of him? And my apartment? It's a mess, and people would go in and think I lived in filth. Oh the horror of it all. As these morbid scenario's continued to play out, I slowly turned ...
And there in front of me was the answer to all my prayers, my hopes and my dreams! I couldn't believe it. If I had never fallen, I wouldn't have seen it...
Marie approached me, with her hand held out. Still with a sniker on her face, she tried to hide. She helped me up and and dusted me off. Marie is nice after all.
My heart palpitations over those nagging coma thoughts were starting to quiet down a little and despite the burning pain in my knee that maybe wasn't a sprain or twist, but something worse, like undiagnosed disease type or worse, I reached up and took Marie's outstretched hand. As she was slowly pulling me to my feet I saw a shadow move behind her. "Look out, Marie", I shouted.
And she slowly turned . . .
April looked very strange. Not like herself. April was drooling and had turned into a zombie. She reached for Marie and.....
. . . shee let go of my hand and I fell back and banged the back of my head against the pavement and it really hurt but I was thankful that my cap broke my fall and prevented what could have been a catastrophic head injury. I was worrying about the symptoms of a concussion and thinking I might be having some of them right now when April asked Marie why she jumped back so suddenly. "B...b...because you're a ZOMBIE!" "No, Marie, this is just my new Halloween costume! Don't you like it?" Just then a street vendor rounded the corner and . . .
He wanted to know what kind of cap that was that could break a fall like that. Maybe he could make a fortune selling them.
"Can I look at your cap? Did you make it or buy it?" He asked. But I felt dizzy (and a little embarrassed) when I started to explain that I had knitted it myself.
"Yeah, uh, I did, uh, wait, what did you ask?"
It's not that knitting myself a cap was a, well, unmanly, thing to do, but who's ever gonna say that a guy, whoever he is, who knits isn't maybe just a little bit femmy? Not me, which is why I make it a rule to never admit to doing the knitting. Even an excuse that it came from grandma is enough to bring about those looks, so my standard story is that I got it on sale at a camping store and I didn't even know why I had grabbed it today, you know how it is, right?, but this time, because of the dizziness and the knock on the head that hopefully wasn't suddenly bleeding internally right now, it made me tell the truth.
"About the hat. The knitting. That's pretty femmy that you knit, you know?"
"Yeah, it's a long story though and I really don't have a lot of time right now so if you could just give me a hand and help me back up to my feet I'd really appreciate it."
"Will you knit me one?"
Writing Ideas - "Exercise 26"
A couple of writing prompts posted to the group ...
Writing Ideas - "Exercise 26"
by Marie, Tina, and Sue
Write a short monologue for a person (real or made up) who is extremely unlike yourself. That is, if you are an agnostic, write a monologue for a person who believes literally in the holy book of her or his religion. If you think you could never have an abortion, try writing the thoughts of a woman who thinks she absolutely must have one. Maybe even better, try imagining what it would be like to be desperate and pregnant if you are in real life a man!
Hi! I am Chat. Better known as Chatty Cathy. I was once a very popular doll. Little girls just loved me back when I was young. Some little boys loved me too but they never wanted me to tell anyone. I really liked when the boys played with me. I would ask the boys "let's play House?' and they loved that game. That was always fun!
One day my mommy put me in the basement. I must have did something very bad. I told my mommy over and over "I love you! I love you! I love you!", but mommy would not listen. I spent many a lonely nights in the dark, damp, smelly, basement all alone except for Bobo. Bobo was a dog. I would say to Bobo "tell me a story" but Bobo did not talk.
One day it started to rain outside. It rained and it rained and it rained. The water started to come inside my basement. Bobo looked really worried. I knew I would be OK because I know how to swim. Being made of plastic really has it's advatages. I still wanted my mommy. I kept calling for my mommy over and over. "Momma! Momma! Momma! Momma!" I called untill I lost my voice but mommy never heard me. Then the water got in my eyes. I started to go blind. I was really scared now! Just before the last of my sight was taken from me I saw something horrible. Bobo drowned!!!! All I could do is think "I'm sleepy." I just wanted to go to sleep.
Then it stopped raining. Mommy finally come to check on me. Mommy pulled me from the water and dried me off. I tried very hard to tell mommy "please change my dress". Mommy could not understand me at all. Mommy did find me a new dress eventually and I was vey happy.
Now I live in my mommys apartment and not in a basement anymore! Mommy knows my hair is so messy. I try very hard to tell mommy "please brush my hair", but mommy does not hear me. I don't think I will ever get my voice back even though it's been a long time since I almost drowned. I love my mommy!
The Decision
What am I going to do? I can't do this. I have worked so hard to earnpartner in my law firm, his job takes him on the road a lot. Weagreed no babies or marriage right now. I'm just not ready for this.After all, it is my body, my final decision. I'll make theapppointment this afternoon. Using my vacation time will give me timeto recover. I can always have a baby later. I'm still young. I justcan't have this baby.
I have about had it with the people in this building. They have enforced a non-smoking rule in our building and guess what? All of the smokers now congregate around the ashtrays right outside of the main doors. Now those of us who don’t smoke have to walk through all of these people. Smoking is a disgusting and smelly habit. Don’t these people have any respect for their health and for those of us who have to breathe second hand smoke? The state, or the government for that matter, should enforce a non-smoking law.
Furthermore, cell phones are also are extremely over-used. I am tired of seeing people walking or driving around with that contraption attached to their ears. Don’t they realize that people do not want to hear their personal conversations? Those should be outlawed as well. Why do young kids need them to text their friends? Use a regular phone and talk to each other, or go outside and play!
Written by grouchy, disgruntled employee.
Writing Ideas - "Exercise 26"
by Marie, Tina, and Sue
Write a short monologue for a person (real or made up) who is extremely unlike yourself. That is, if you are an agnostic, write a monologue for a person who believes literally in the holy book of her or his religion. If you think you could never have an abortion, try writing the thoughts of a woman who thinks she absolutely must have one. Maybe even better, try imagining what it would be like to be desperate and pregnant if you are in real life a man!
********
Hi! I am Chat. Better known as Chatty Cathy. I was once a very popular doll. Little girls just loved me back when I was young. Some little boys loved me too but they never wanted me to tell anyone. I really liked when the boys played with me. I would ask the boys "let's play House?' and they loved that game. That was always fun!
One day my mommy put me in the basement. I must have did something very bad. I told my mommy over and over "I love you! I love you! I love you!", but mommy would not listen. I spent many a lonely nights in the dark, damp, smelly, basement all alone except for Bobo. Bobo was a dog. I would say to Bobo "tell me a story" but Bobo did not talk.
One day it started to rain outside. It rained and it rained and it rained. The water started to come inside my basement. Bobo looked really worried. I knew I would be OK because I know how to swim. Being made of plastic really has it's advatages. I still wanted my mommy. I kept calling for my mommy over and over. "Momma! Momma! Momma! Momma!" I called untill I lost my voice but mommy never heard me. Then the water got in my eyes. I started to go blind. I was really scared now! Just before the last of my sight was taken from me I saw something horrible. Bobo drowned!!!! All I could do is think "I'm sleepy." I just wanted to go to sleep.
Then it stopped raining. Mommy finally come to check on me. Mommy pulled me from the water and dried me off. I tried very hard to tell mommy "please change my dress". Mommy could not understand me at all. Mommy did find me a new dress eventually and I was vey happy.
Now I live in my mommys apartment and not in a basement anymore! Mommy knows my hair is so messy. I try very hard to tell mommy "please brush my hair", but mommy does not hear me. I don't think I will ever get my voice back even though it's been a long time since I almost drowned. I love my mommy!
********
The Decision
What am I going to do? I can't do this. I have worked so hard to earnpartner in my law firm, his job takes him on the road a lot. Weagreed no babies or marriage right now. I'm just not ready for this.After all, it is my body, my final decision. I'll make theapppointment this afternoon. Using my vacation time will give me timeto recover. I can always have a baby later. I'm still young. I justcan't have this baby.
********
I have about had it with the people in this building. They have enforced a non-smoking rule in our building and guess what? All of the smokers now congregate around the ashtrays right outside of the main doors. Now those of us who don’t smoke have to walk through all of these people. Smoking is a disgusting and smelly habit. Don’t these people have any respect for their health and for those of us who have to breathe second hand smoke? The state, or the government for that matter, should enforce a non-smoking law.
Furthermore, cell phones are also are extremely over-used. I am tired of seeing people walking or driving around with that contraption attached to their ears. Don’t they realize that people do not want to hear their personal conversations? Those should be outlawed as well. Why do young kids need them to text their friends? Use a regular phone and talk to each other, or go outside and play!
Written by grouchy, disgruntled employee.
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