by: Susan, D.A., Celt, Misty, Garvis, Sue, Doghouse, Elizabeth, Marie, Jo, Marie, Semaht
Part 2 of the "Roses Are Red" project for the group - everyone was supposed to email Susan a poem using the "Roses are Red, Violets are Blue" rhyming scheme. After waiting a week for submissions she started off with a simple reminder to the list about sending her their submissions. This turned into a game which most of the list joined in on. (We're still waiting for Susan to publish what was actually submitted.)
Roses are red, the thorns are mean
I just spit my drink, all over my screen....
Roses are Red, And I just can't sew,
You spit on the screen, But didn't say "No".
Roses are red, you guys are the SH#$,
Your poems have caused, me quite a coughing fit!!!!
Roses are red, DA's been bad
He used the F word, And Yahoo didn't get mad!
Roses are red, Flowers get trimmed
Why can't these list members. Trim these darn messages!!!
Roses are Red, Colds cause a fever
You may not be able to sew, But you can't spell either!
Roses are Red, Bunnies are floppy
What can I say, We just got sloppy
Roses are Red, And typo's are caused
When brain goes so fast, And your fingers get paused
Roses are Red, Yahoo Spam blocker is off
Now we can all swear, And none of you scoff.
Roses are Red, Curse words may pass
We use too many, Susan will kick our A$$
Roses are Red, EC Spoilers is Rockin'
While these poems abound, Soon everyone will flock-in
Susan from Iowa, From Canada, D.A.
There's Lissa and Doghouse, and Misty fights tooth decay
Elizabeth digs in dirt, In IT, Brian with a Q
Anne and Colleen, And we can't forget Sue
Garvis collects, Jo has two cows,
Celt is a witch, With Jeff we carouse
Roses are Red, Members are listed
These poems sure proved, That we're definitely twisted
Roses are Red, And we have a new member,
Welcome to Semaht, She joined in November
Roses are red, taffy is sticky
trimming messages? picky, Picky, PICKY!
Roses are red, in apology we bow
but we just got distracted, by Sue's Mau Mau's.
Roses are red, and you just gave me cause
to give you a round of, cyber applause!
Roses were red, the flowers are dead
please get my butt, out of your head!
Roses are read, violets are blue
let's discuss other things, except body parts of Sue
Roses are red, Sorry you made a mess
So does that mean, The answer was yes?
Roses are red, I don't believe the hype
DA can spell, but when horny, His fingers can't type
Roses are red, I wish he'd warned us sooner
We might have changed the convo, so he didn't need a nooner.
Roses are red, welcome Semaht!
Your name sounds familiar, what type of poem have you brought?
Roses are red, OK, the discussion will move on
to various body parts of, Mistymonbon
Roses are red, This topic is hot,
Oh no whoops, It prematurely shot*
Roses are Red, I have a slight cough
After reading these posts, I am laughing my ass off
Roses are Red, I need to go cry
I forgot all about trimming, And keep hitting reply
Roses are Red, DA came sooner
You’da thought he had some staying time, After his quickie nooner!
Roses are Red, Another new Member
Pave a beach for Marie, And, you she'll remember
Roses are red, I am blue
Thank You for inviting me, My dream has come true
This is just what i need, A quick pick me up
Where are the dirty limericks, They would sure rock
Instead everything look tame, what did I expect?
The members list shows me, who here and who is not
Judging from that, I expect more
Lets see the words fly, I want to see more
Roses are red, Marie wants dirty
but I haven't thought like that, Since I was thirty.
Roses are red, Don't cry in your soup
You weren't the only one, Who sent me for a loop.
Roses are Red, And who are you kidding
You led us into the gutter so fast, We keep bumping and skidding
Roses are red, I'd try the "small t"
but it doesn't make sense, To an innocent such as me.
Roses are red, I am tired of Scrolling
But this has been fun, LOLing!!!
Roses are red, My favorite fruit is a peach
Two "exquisite" new members? Here's a "Welcome" for each
Roses are red, But are writing ain't blue
But if that'll cheer you up, I know just what to do.
Let me first post a warning, Adult Content Ahead
Then I'll work up a poem, About "Tales From The Bed".
The poor girl at the seaside, In bed with a dwarf
Who thought the man asked, If she'd go down on the wharf.
Or the bold little girl, Who asked the boy "what's a penis?"
And so he asked his dad, Who he thought was a genius.
The man took his out, and said "Son, you're in luck.
This is the world's perfect penis, I know you're awestruck."
The boy went back to the girl, and said he'd explain for a quarter.
He then said his would be the world's perfect penis, If like his dad's it was just two inches shorter.
Roses are red, And I can't keep up with these listings
But maybe tonight, I'll pen a poem about fisting.
Roses are red, and try as he can
D.A. doesn't want the reputation, as a minute man!
Roses are red, A poem about fisting?
Is something we hope, You keep resisting!!!
Roses are red, Shriners wear a fez
just please stay away from, Dirty Sanchez!
Roses are red, What Celt said lemme repeat
I don't need any poems, about things going up that one-way street.
A little tiny dwarf! That could be fun!
As long as his...um hands are as big as the sun!
Roses are red, I just got in from work
And I see the requests, Not to rhyme 'bout this quirk.
But when I read doghouse saying, About one-way streets
I feel I must point out, Fists are better than feets.
And please keep in mind, The one way street may not apply
When you're talking of a girl, And not of a guy.
Just watch Chasing Amy, Where the act is discussed
As a lesbian love act, With a partner you trust.
And I would be so remiss, To not mention Rockbitch
Who perform the act on stage while they're singing, Without the slightest hitch.
The act may sound painful, And I know some may scoff
But their are people who do it, Cause it gets their rocks off.
Well this is my poem, Not quite what I planned
But I bet you think twice, Next time someone asks for a hand.
Roses are red, in the autumn leaves fall
I hated Chasing Amy, and would recommend Annie Hall.
Just bothering to see this now.
You've sucked me in - I'm not sure how!
Roses are red, I agree on both points
Smith rarely does anything for me, But Allen seldomly disappoints.
Roses are red, I beg to disagree
Woody Allen movies, make me want to decree
Woody Allen should stop, and leave it to the pros
the real moviemakers, are the Coen Bros.
Roses are red, It's a matter of Taste.
I could do without Curse of the Jade Scorpion, But Match Point was certainly not a waste.
Roses are red, The Coen Brothers are great,
Fargo was a prize, O Brother will never be out of date.
Roses are red, All those directors are swell
I personally find, Kevin Smith funny as hell.
But I also love Woody, And have since nearly 6 grade
I've enjoyed Sleeper, Manhatten, Most every film that he's made
The Coens are also, Quite good I must say
But I need to sit down, And watch Blood Simple some day.
And what about Mel Brooks, Back in his prime?
I can watch Blazing Saddles, And laugh every time.
I also like Landis, And the Z A Z team
Airplane was so funny, I thought I would scream.
I only hope some day in the future, That people will indeed
Speak as flatteringly of the comedy, Of Garvis M Reed.
Roses are red, Some see Smith's work as gold
but to me his humor, is aimed at a ten-year old.
Roses are red, dead leaves are brown
the Coen brothers and I, share the same hometown.
Roses are red, for a rhyme I'm at a loss
but check out this story, for a Coen idol named Mike Zoss.
Roses are red, tell me what you think
after you read the article, you'll find by clicking on this link:
but the drugstore referenced above, was two miles from my home.
Roses are red, and I try not to swear
but gosh darnit, I'll tell 'ya, I used to shop there.
Roses are red, getting back now on topic
do you not like Woody Allen, because with glasses he looks myopic?
Roses are red, the directors you mention
are good, no doubt, but it's the oldies, that really get my attention.
Roses are red, Screwball comedies with Cary Grant
are some of my favorites, like the one with his crazy aunt.
Roses are red, I don't mean to annoy
but my first job, was at that grocery store as a carry out boy.
Roses are red, this thought will always be unknown
but could I have bagged groceries, that fed J & E Coen?
Rose are red, The Coen Bros. are smart
To honor a man, Who seemed to have such heart.
Rose are red, You might have cracked their eggs
Their bread you did smoosh, While staring at some chicks legs.
Roses are red, when a woman got in her car
if she was wearing a skirt, you could really see far!
Roses are red, there's really no in between
getting a view like that, was a treat at sixteen.
Roses are red, these rhymes make me snicker
if we had a new topic, i think they'd come a lot quicker
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