Roses are Red
by: Susan, D.A., Celt, Misty, Garvis, Sue, Doghouse, Elizabeth, Marie
This was a project for the group - everyone was supposed to email Susan a poem using the "Roses are Red, Violets are Blue" rhyming scheme. After waiting a week for submissions she started off with a simple reminder to the list about sending her their submissions. This turned into a game which most of the list joined in on. (We're still waiting for Susan to publish what was actually submitted.)
Roses are Red, Violets are Blue,
I only have poems, From a few of you
Roses are Red, Yellow is pee,
I gave you a poem, So you're not waiting for me
Rose are red, Violets smell like poo,
It sounds to me, Like you need something to do!
Roses are silent, and so is the mime,
Two hours left, Until quitting time.
Roses are red, Violets are dirty,
I'll be off in one hour, When it's five-thirty.
Roses are Red, Carnations are black,
If you duck out early, No one will give you flack
Rose are red, It's now dark outside
It's now 5:40... So on home I shall slide.
Roses are red, And it's not even Four,
A little under an hour, Then I'm out the door
Roses are red, It's Six-fifteen,
I'm happy I am home, There's television to be seen!
Roses are Red, Canada's Great
I'll be watching Pushing daisies, Tonight at Eight.
Roses are Red, Iowa is better,
But my apartment is cold, I had to put on a sweater.
Roses are Red, And grow in the Sun,
Why is it only Susan and I, Are having all the fun?
Roses are red, Losers are scared,
They worry because, They are so unprepared!
Roses are Red, Corpses are Black,
Send Susan a Poem, Or she'll give you a smack
Roses are Dead, And shrivelled like hell,
Exquisite Corpse Spoilers, Poems still smell
Rose are red, Flowers are pretty,
Oh can't you see, How our poems are witty?
Roses are red, Your poems are swell,
I read them twice, And let out an elle-oh-elle (Sound it out)
Roses are red, And we both rock,
Still waiting for more replies, From the rest of the flock.
Roses are Red, Books are for reading,
I just returned, From my Weight Watcher's meeting.
Roses are red, NC has Duke,
Dumb ass Sassy, Made a pile of puke!
Roses are red, Sassy is fat,
While away at my meeting, The pile of puke sat!
Roses are red, My family is lame,
I cleaned the puke myself, I have them to blame!
Roses are red, Their heads need pounded,
For leaving the puke, They are all grounded!
Roses are red, What can you say?
Where did they go? Did they all hit the hay?
Roses are Red, Simpsons are funny,
They better apologize, And give you lots of money!
Roses are Red, You skinny thing,
Go tell your husband, To buy you some Bling!
Roses are Red, Sounds like my Ally,
She pukes every morning, As just out of bed I do rally.
Roses are red, The Hair ball is black,
You can't blame Malcolm Girl, that's just a fact
Roses are red, I have no one to ground,
I have to clean it up daily, Before the next wretching sound.
Roses are Red, Nothing like Cassie,
She doesn't puke in the house, She's much to classy
Rose are red, I won't fall for that bit,
I'd rather deal with cat litter, then clean up dog shit.
I know I should start, With Roses are Red,
But at times you were writing, My ass was in bed.
Roses are red, Like the trail of a comet,
Did I really just read, A poem about vomit?
Roses are red, Little chickies go cheep,
I'm still working midnights, So I'm still asleep.
Roses are still red, Now I'd be at work not asleep,
But since we can't access emails, I can't utter a peep.
Roses are Red, I have a big ass,
The puke piles are worse, When they have lots of grass.
Roses are red, Cassie is probably cool,
But as we all know, It is the cats that Rule!
Roses are red, Violets are blue,
If I couldn't respond to emails at work, I'd have nothing to do!
Roses are red, my cats are fat,
They ate all the food in the bowl, and undigested on the floor it sat.
Roses are red, Violets aren't bold,
I go to bed early, Cuz I'm freaking old!
Roses are red, their stems have some grime,
I just have to say, I love standard time!
Roses are red, these messages are fun,
I just had to say, I really liked this one!
Roses are red, puke sounds ishy, but that,
is reason #50, why I don't get a cat.
Roses are red, I didn't mean to seem withdrawn,
but it just so happens, I just logged on.
Roses are red, no email at work?!?
Go tell your boss, that I think he's a jerk.
Roses are red, if your boss screams foul play,
just tell him I'm from Canada, and my name is D.A.
Roses are red, Misty's a bold girl,
and yes, that's right, a rhyme about hurl.
Roses are red, cat puke would make me a grump,
but forget all that, let's talk about your rump.
HEY! Roses are red, the rhyming pattern your suddenly eschewing?
Why? Is it cuz we're suddenly overdoing?
Roses are red, Flowers are green,
My rump is the size, of a washing machine!
Roses are red, Even though quiet as a mouse,
We got rid of our dog, Cuz he wouldn't quit peeing in the house.
Roses are red, the Simpsons are bent,
and not quite as funny, as Arrested Development.
Roses are Red, And Baby's got back,
Enough about your ass, Let's talk about your rack!
Roses are Red, That blame we must douse,
It's not Canada that said it, But Mr. Doghouse.
Roses are red, Fruit has a peal,
Oh yes they are fabulous, and of course they're real.
Roses are red, Isn't that true,
Dogs are just bark machines, Standing in a pile of drool .
Roses are red, That thinking is foolish,
Standard time is really, Just for the Ghoulish.
Roses are red, The kitty you will love,
It's puke will seem, like a message from above.
Roses are red, No, Garvis, don't buy it,
I never shoulda said it, now my karma's disquiet.
Roses are red, the dark's really cool,
and if it were light out at midnight, how could people celebrate yule?
Rose are red, The dark is okay,
As long as it showed up, A bit later in the day.
Roses are Red, Fruit still has a peel,
Now do you mind, If we all cop a feel?
Roses are Red, Your mind is in the gutter,
Go off to a corner, Stand there and mutter.
Roses are red, You seem quite contrite,
It was all in good fun, And not done in spite.
Roses are red, And the gutter is yucky,
We could be in worse places, Like the State of Kentucky.
Roses are red, DA created quite a ripple,
but I agree, and specifically, I'd like to talk about your . . . (Maybe I'd better reassess this one!)
Roses are red, Sucks, the writer's strike,
It does, I guess I'll go out and ride my bike.
Roses are Red, Yahoo's spam filter sucks,
It hung up several message, Those damn Yahoo ... ducks!
Roses are red, The Grass there is blue,
don't talk bad 'bout Kentucky, Or they'll come after you!
Roses are red, try not to fret,
Yahoo's just slow, you've nothing to regret.
Roses are red, what you say may be true,
but looking at cat vomit, might make me spew, too.
Roses are red, but if you crawl under your quilt,
while the sun is still shining, it leads to feelings of guilt.
Roses are red, you raise a good point,
now I'm feeling happy, insert exclamation point (!)
Roses are red, But rhyming can be quite a pain,
When it's government rules, You must try and explain.
Roses are red, Your rump must be shy,
I'm still waiting on a picture. Promised in a My Space reply.
Roses are red, And I must admits,
I liked discussing her ass, And can't wait for her other bits.
Roses are red, I used to work nights,
Sleeping in the day time, Causes no frights.
Roses are red, Now don't you fret,
When you have a kitty, Vomit won't be a threat.
Roses are red, I'd love that little cuss,
but seeing someones puke, makes me ride the porcelain bus.
Roses are red, Used to it, you'll get,
I'll send a sample of Ally's, on the next jet.
Roses are red, I always like research,
but the thought of seeing Ally's vomit, makes my stomach start to lurch.
Roses are red, Ally is black,
Give her daily Vaseline, Then no reason for the ACK!
Roses are red, VASELINE?!?
Is cute little Ally, a vomit machine?
Roses are red, just typing the "V" word,
starts to activate, my feelings of GERD.
Rose are red, Don't worry about a thing,
Ally hasn't vomited, Since the time change.
Roses are red, that's been a long time,
but I just have to ask, what happened to the rhyme?
Roses are red, sage is a pretty light green,
but how do you get a cat, to eat Vaseline?
Roses are Red, It should have been Thang not thing,
But I was tired after gambling, For me no slots would bing.
Roses are red, She's a strange cat,
Eating Vaseline from my fingers, Pretty cool, isn't that.
Roses are red, mantises are praying,
That Ally's a cool cat, goes without saying!
Roses are red, Coltrane played sax,
my friend once had a cat, who ate ear wax.
Roses are red, Used Q-tips are a hit,
Don't take them from the cat, Unless you want to get bit!
Roses are red, larger cats are cougars,
my used Q-Tips, are usually covered with boogers.
Roses are red, I just supply the facts,
but I think every cat, likes the taste of ear wax.
Rose are red, I worry about you,
Q-Tips are for the ears, What the hell do you do??
Roses are red, if you hold the Q-Tips in a certain way,
you can really get . . . uh, maybe I'd better not say.
Roses are Red, I'm feeling sick,
Thinking of you and Qtips, ...Ewwwww.....Ick......
Roses are Red, I think you're confused,
Q-Tips are for ears, But you are excused.
Noses, when "blew", Show boogers so green,
Q-Tips are brown, Once ears are clean.
Once you have "read", This message please note,
The homonym use, In these things I wrote.
Roses are red, This is the only group i know,
That likes to talk about boogers and ear wax, in many, many posts.
Read on if you will, Lets start a new subject,
why not talk about shopping and tax, instead of a snotty nose.
I don't know why maybe it is only because it rhythms,
but it sure sounds more pleasant than green things in your nose.
Tis the season even though Thanksgiving is yet to be,
but Mr. St Nickwas at the mall this past week,
We stopped and we stared, and my 7 year old exclaimed,
with hands on her hips "it's not even December yet".
Roses are red, after you blow out that goop,
sometimes your nostril, just needs a good scoop.
Roses are red, a finger's too big,
and a Q-Tip provides one, with a pretty good dig
Roses are red, and when it's balanced on that stick,
makes that cute little booger, that much easier to flick.
Roses are red, I saw the homonyms next spring,
when I spin a dreidel, you'll know it's Purim.
Friday, March 14, 2008
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Zombie Story - Back from the Dead - Part 1
or The Cows Ate the World (?)
This one is also still in progress. One person picks two words to be used, the writer writes something using those words. They then 'tag' the next person with two words tehy must use, and so on and so on.
By (so far): Qbryzan, Sue, Doghouse, Garvis, and D.A.
WORDS: PLETHORA and ANTITHESIS
As I write this, the human race is exhaling its last breath. At the beginning of the 21st century we were faced with a plethora of life-threatening problems, from Global Warming to Nuclear War, but ironically what did us in was so much more insidious. I only hope one day some other race may discover this and learn from our mistakes.
You see, we thought bacteria were bad. And in a way they were. But our solution was the antithesis of a life-saving measure - we developed anti-bacterial soap. Lots and lots of anti-bacterial soap. It got so bad you couldn't even find non-anti-bacterial soap anymore, unless you made it yourself.
And that is where our trouble began.
Now normally a peripatetic person would carry anti-bacterial soap on their travels. A backpack would include the germ killing soap or at least hand sanitizer, water, toiletpaper, a map and other necessary items that one might need at the drop of a hat while wandering around aimlessly, but on this particular day, our traveler had to make a quick exodus from their abode as zombies had attacked their peaceful Iowian town and forced our hero to leave her home quickly.
"Damn it!" Susan mumbled under her breath as she searched through her fanny pack for the millionth time. "I just want clean hands.... Is that too much to ask?" But she had the serendipity to notice the bottle of hand sanitizer sticking out from under her car seat. "Viola! I am saved."
She had the thought of tossing the hand sanitizer onto the heap of trash spilling over the side of the metal trashcan along with all the spoiled food that was lost when the power went, but shrugged off that quixotic notion as an old habit dying hard.
Across town Rick was hunkered down inside an old wooden shed, his survival pack strung taut across his back and his rifle clenched tightly in his sweating fingers. The sun had just set and he could hear them on the other side of the thin wodden wall shuffling back and forth aimlessly. They were most active at night and he knew he was here, trapped until sunrise. Rick hated the outdoors, he hated cabins and he hated camping. Putting together a survival pack was difficult, but second only to figuring out how to load the bullets in the rifle. And here he was stuck, alone, hungry and cold until dawn.
Rick laughed silently to himself and whispered, "What did I do to deserve to be stuck in the night of the living dread?". His smile faded as he realized that this was no time for conundrums; he shook his head to bring him back to the present.
Rick looked around trying to locate his comrades. If there was one lesson Rick had learned it was that as long as you were with a group of people you are safer in the event of a zombie attack, especially if one of them is just a little bit slower than you are. He saw Jay and Bob leaning against the back wall. Jim and Pam had slipped off somewhere probably engaging in a little friskiness he thought. He looked around the cabin. Where was Randy?
Rick took his walkie talkie and asked Randy to reply. He didn't think Randy fully understood the scope of the disaster they were facing. He hadn't come face to face with this new breed of walking dead. It was doubtful he would even recognize them if he was face to ... suddenly a burst of static came over Rick's walkie.
"Randy, is that you? Where are you?" Rick radioed back.
"It's me. I had to get some fresh air. I think I was getting cabin fever," Randy replied.
"Randy, are you telling me that you are outside?"
"Well duh, where else would the fresh air be? Besides, do you have any idea how many bacteria are inside that cabin? And I don't have any anti-bacterial soap, Rick. It's not safe in there." Then Rick heard Randy speak the words he hoped he would never hear. He heard the words that told him that even though there were bacteria inside the cabin, there were worse things outside."Rick," Randy's voice was static filled and unearthly, "Lookie Dat Cow."
Damn that Randy for beings so recalcitrant. If only he'd listened! Rick did a quick headcount and was relieved that there were at least three other people slower than him. Unless the paridgm shifts, I should be safe for a little while longer.
Meanwhile, in the cornfields of Iowa Susan walked wondering what had happened to all the people? Just then she heard the sound of cattle lowing. Where are those cows I keep hearing? She thought to herself.
***
In Canada, a group of freedom fighters were trying to regain order with an oligarchy group. Chaos reigned worldwide, and there was no end in sight to the looting and rampant anarchy.
"David, we need to let the others know that we're here," the doctor said. "How else can we unite against this lugubrious situation? Someone has to rise up and save us from the cows."
Meanwhile in Milwaukee a discovery was made. "Hrmmmm. Bacteria?"
=====
TO BE CONTINUED ...
Next Words to be used: RAGLAN and OSSIFY
This one is also still in progress. One person picks two words to be used, the writer writes something using those words. They then 'tag' the next person with two words tehy must use, and so on and so on.
By (so far): Qbryzan, Sue, Doghouse, Garvis, and D.A.
WORDS: PLETHORA and ANTITHESIS
As I write this, the human race is exhaling its last breath. At the beginning of the 21st century we were faced with a plethora of life-threatening problems, from Global Warming to Nuclear War, but ironically what did us in was so much more insidious. I only hope one day some other race may discover this and learn from our mistakes.
You see, we thought bacteria were bad. And in a way they were. But our solution was the antithesis of a life-saving measure - we developed anti-bacterial soap. Lots and lots of anti-bacterial soap. It got so bad you couldn't even find non-anti-bacterial soap anymore, unless you made it yourself.
And that is where our trouble began.
***
WORDS: PERIPATETIC and SERENDIPITYNow normally a peripatetic person would carry anti-bacterial soap on their travels. A backpack would include the germ killing soap or at least hand sanitizer, water, toiletpaper, a map and other necessary items that one might need at the drop of a hat while wandering around aimlessly, but on this particular day, our traveler had to make a quick exodus from their abode as zombies had attacked their peaceful Iowian town and forced our hero to leave her home quickly.
"Damn it!" Susan mumbled under her breath as she searched through her fanny pack for the millionth time. "I just want clean hands.... Is that too much to ask?" But she had the serendipity to notice the bottle of hand sanitizer sticking out from under her car seat. "Viola! I am saved."
***
WORDS: QUIXOTIC and CONUNDRUMShe had the thought of tossing the hand sanitizer onto the heap of trash spilling over the side of the metal trashcan along with all the spoiled food that was lost when the power went, but shrugged off that quixotic notion as an old habit dying hard.
Across town Rick was hunkered down inside an old wooden shed, his survival pack strung taut across his back and his rifle clenched tightly in his sweating fingers. The sun had just set and he could hear them on the other side of the thin wodden wall shuffling back and forth aimlessly. They were most active at night and he knew he was here, trapped until sunrise. Rick hated the outdoors, he hated cabins and he hated camping. Putting together a survival pack was difficult, but second only to figuring out how to load the bullets in the rifle. And here he was stuck, alone, hungry and cold until dawn.
Rick laughed silently to himself and whispered, "What did I do to deserve to be stuck in the night of the living dread?". His smile faded as he realized that this was no time for conundrums; he shook his head to bring him back to the present.
***
WORDS: FRISKINESS and RECIPROCITYRick looked around trying to locate his comrades. If there was one lesson Rick had learned it was that as long as you were with a group of people you are safer in the event of a zombie attack, especially if one of them is just a little bit slower than you are. He saw Jay and Bob leaning against the back wall. Jim and Pam had slipped off somewhere probably engaging in a little friskiness he thought. He looked around the cabin. Where was Randy?
Rick took his walkie talkie and asked Randy to reply. He didn't think Randy fully understood the scope of the disaster they were facing. He hadn't come face to face with this new breed of walking dead. It was doubtful he would even recognize them if he was face to ... suddenly a burst of static came over Rick's walkie.
"Randy, is that you? Where are you?" Rick radioed back.
"It's me. I had to get some fresh air. I think I was getting cabin fever," Randy replied.
"Randy, are you telling me that you are outside?"
"Well duh, where else would the fresh air be? Besides, do you have any idea how many bacteria are inside that cabin? And I don't have any anti-bacterial soap, Rick. It's not safe in there." Then Rick heard Randy speak the words he hoped he would never hear. He heard the words that told him that even though there were bacteria inside the cabin, there were worse things outside."Rick," Randy's voice was static filled and unearthly, "Lookie Dat Cow."
If Randy could see them it was too late. The zombie cows would soon be all over Randy. Considering how many times Randy had eaten their kin at McDonalds and Burger King, Rick figured this was a cosmic act of reciprocity, bovine intervention, kine karma. Tonight Randy was on the menu and the cows were gonna have it their way.
***
WORDS: PARADIGM and RECALCITRANT
Damn that Randy for beings so recalcitrant. If only he'd listened! Rick did a quick headcount and was relieved that there were at least three other people slower than him. Unless the paridgm shifts, I should be safe for a little while longer.
Meanwhile, in the cornfields of Iowa Susan walked wondering what had happened to all the people? Just then she heard the sound of cattle lowing. Where are those cows I keep hearing? She thought to herself.
***
WORDS: OLIGARCHY and LUGUBRIOUS
In Canada, a group of freedom fighters were trying to regain order with an oligarchy group. Chaos reigned worldwide, and there was no end in sight to the looting and rampant anarchy.
"David, we need to let the others know that we're here," the doctor said. "How else can we unite against this lugubrious situation? Someone has to rise up and save us from the cows."
Meanwhile in Milwaukee a discovery was made. "Hrmmmm. Bacteria?"
=====
TO BE CONTINUED ...
Next Words to be used: RAGLAN and OSSIFY
Pet Attack (???) - Part 1
This one is actually still currently untitled, and still 'under construction'.
By (so far): D.A., Susan, Misty, Doghouse, and Sue
"Dreamy!" Misty sighed as she watched the Nerds-r-us channel on her new 50" plasma tv. Just then she heard some clacking on the keyboard. "Odd?" She thought as she got up to investigate. There was Buster on the computer. He looked up at her, suspicion in his eyes.
"Busty-baby? What are you doing?" A hint of concern in her voice.
Across town Susan had just gotten home from her latest shopping trip. "If only Malcolm had opposable thumbs, then he could help me bring in the groceries." she thought to herself as she opened the front door.
Something was amiss. Everything was too quiet. "Malcolm? Alley? Teva?" The cats were nowhere to be found. And worst of all, her computer was missing ...
She yelled as she walked around the house, "Short-Tailed Wonder.. where are you?"
"Fat-Boy Slim, where are you?" She didn't bother calling for Teva, who she knew was certainly in her latest hidey hole.
But then she noticed her computer was missing. All that was left amid the desk clutter was a note. "Quit gambling away your money... Give it to me instead. Send $100 dollars, and a couple new catnip socks to the inclosed address, and I might return the cats. Forget the computer. Much Love, B"
"Shit!" Susan yelled. Her luck tonight at the track and the casino had run out. Now she was going to have buy back her cats. Well at least Ally and Teva. "B" whoever that is, will certain get tired of the Orange kid sooner that I can make those catnip socks.
Susan searched feverously through her dusty roll-a-dex to find a clue as to who "B" might be.
Suddenly it dawned on her that Brian was over the other night to fix her computer and was going on and on about the hidden talents of his IT trained cats, Cat5 and Cat6.
"That's it", Susan thought. Brian must be behind this caper.
Susan quickly placed a call, but it went unanswered. Off to the left a strange red light caught her eye and she realized that it was a laser beam. Cat 5 and Cat 6 must be using the computer operated laser beam to lure cats away from the house!!
Maybe Brian is not behind this after all and it the work of Cat5 and Cat6, Susan thought. Susan had to work quickly in case Brian was being held hostage. She was getting ready to head to Brian's when a strange sight appeared before her eyes.
"Cassie?" "Did I just see Cassie driving that rent-a truck?"..The plot was getting deeper and deeper.
Across town, but not on the same side of town as Susan, just slightly north of her and a little west, so not even technically "across" town but maybe more kitty-corner, a soft light flickered in the window of an abaondoned warehouse. Someone sat on the floor in front of a low candle rocking back and forth almost as if in prayer. The rocking motion caused the flame to jump but never giving off enough light to make out any of the person's features. Male or female, it was impossible to tell as the hair was of an indeterminante length and the clothes, if they could even be called clothes were loose and hanging and covered in a strange, soft looking material.
The wind howled through the heat ducts and caused the door handle to shake. Alerted by the noise the candle worshiper stopped rocking and tilted its head back. Its ears suddenly pricked upright and its head turned toward the noise.
"Meeeeoowww?"
Back at Misty's house, Buster stared at Misty. She couldn't tell if he was plotting something or just giving her the normal cat indifference stare.
Misty slowly rose from the couch and walked toward Buster and the computer. Buster quickly bounded from his perch on the computer desk to vanish underneath it. A quick flash of light and the monitor went dark. Buster had pushed the off switch on the surge protector. He slowly moved out from under the desk, growling softly. Misty backed away from him in surprise and a touch of fear. "Buster-baby, what's wrong?"
Suddenly she heard a crash outside. She turned towards the noise only to see Buster streak out of the room. She followed Buster towards the bedroom. Was he using the telephone?
Back in a dark and abandoned warehouse not quite really across town, but on a different side of town, a phone rang.
Ring Ring! Ring Ring! Ring Ring! There was a fumbling for the phone, almost as if the one answering lacked opposable thumbs.
A voice from the other end of the phone sounds out, "She's on to us. It's time to intiate Operation: Leash Law*" (*translated from pet-speak)
"Are you sure? " The voice at the other end said
"Look I know what I am talking about, okay. It's not like this has just been a walk in the park for me.... well except for when I did go for a walk in the park.. but still... pay attention!"
TO BE CONTINUED ...
By (so far): D.A., Susan, Misty, Doghouse, and Sue
"Dreamy!" Misty sighed as she watched the Nerds-r-us channel on her new 50" plasma tv. Just then she heard some clacking on the keyboard. "Odd?" She thought as she got up to investigate. There was Buster on the computer. He looked up at her, suspicion in his eyes.
"Busty-baby? What are you doing?" A hint of concern in her voice.
Across town Susan had just gotten home from her latest shopping trip. "If only Malcolm had opposable thumbs, then he could help me bring in the groceries." she thought to herself as she opened the front door.
Something was amiss. Everything was too quiet. "Malcolm? Alley? Teva?" The cats were nowhere to be found. And worst of all, her computer was missing ...
She yelled as she walked around the house, "Short-Tailed Wonder.. where are you?"
"Fat-Boy Slim, where are you?" She didn't bother calling for Teva, who she knew was certainly in her latest hidey hole.
But then she noticed her computer was missing. All that was left amid the desk clutter was a note. "Quit gambling away your money... Give it to me instead. Send $100 dollars, and a couple new catnip socks to the inclosed address, and I might return the cats. Forget the computer. Much Love, B"
"Shit!" Susan yelled. Her luck tonight at the track and the casino had run out. Now she was going to have buy back her cats. Well at least Ally and Teva. "B" whoever that is, will certain get tired of the Orange kid sooner that I can make those catnip socks.
Susan searched feverously through her dusty roll-a-dex to find a clue as to who "B" might be.
Suddenly it dawned on her that Brian was over the other night to fix her computer and was going on and on about the hidden talents of his IT trained cats, Cat5 and Cat6.
"That's it", Susan thought. Brian must be behind this caper.
Susan quickly placed a call, but it went unanswered. Off to the left a strange red light caught her eye and she realized that it was a laser beam. Cat 5 and Cat 6 must be using the computer operated laser beam to lure cats away from the house!!
Maybe Brian is not behind this after all and it the work of Cat5 and Cat6, Susan thought. Susan had to work quickly in case Brian was being held hostage. She was getting ready to head to Brian's when a strange sight appeared before her eyes.
"Cassie?" "Did I just see Cassie driving that rent-a truck?"..The plot was getting deeper and deeper.
Across town, but not on the same side of town as Susan, just slightly north of her and a little west, so not even technically "across" town but maybe more kitty-corner, a soft light flickered in the window of an abaondoned warehouse. Someone sat on the floor in front of a low candle rocking back and forth almost as if in prayer. The rocking motion caused the flame to jump but never giving off enough light to make out any of the person's features. Male or female, it was impossible to tell as the hair was of an indeterminante length and the clothes, if they could even be called clothes were loose and hanging and covered in a strange, soft looking material.
The wind howled through the heat ducts and caused the door handle to shake. Alerted by the noise the candle worshiper stopped rocking and tilted its head back. Its ears suddenly pricked upright and its head turned toward the noise.
"Meeeeoowww?"
Back at Misty's house, Buster stared at Misty. She couldn't tell if he was plotting something or just giving her the normal cat indifference stare.
Misty slowly rose from the couch and walked toward Buster and the computer. Buster quickly bounded from his perch on the computer desk to vanish underneath it. A quick flash of light and the monitor went dark. Buster had pushed the off switch on the surge protector. He slowly moved out from under the desk, growling softly. Misty backed away from him in surprise and a touch of fear. "Buster-baby, what's wrong?"
Suddenly she heard a crash outside. She turned towards the noise only to see Buster streak out of the room. She followed Buster towards the bedroom. Was he using the telephone?
Back in a dark and abandoned warehouse not quite really across town, but on a different side of town, a phone rang.
Ring Ring! Ring Ring! Ring Ring! There was a fumbling for the phone, almost as if the one answering lacked opposable thumbs.
A voice from the other end of the phone sounds out, "She's on to us. It's time to intiate Operation: Leash Law*" (*translated from pet-speak)
"Are you sure? " The voice at the other end said
"Look I know what I am talking about, okay. It's not like this has just been a walk in the park for me.... well except for when I did go for a walk in the park.. but still... pay attention!"
TO BE CONTINUED ...
Time for Another New One
Another Collaborative poem. (And one of our longer ones at that)
By: Sue, Susan, Garvis, D.A., Doghouse, Misty, Elizabeth, and Jeff
When I close my eyes I think of you,
Then push a pin in the Doll of VooDoo.
If I'm really upset, I'll push in two,
And maybe light a match under you.
I hate you so much, you big piece of poo!
I could throw you in a pot of stew
Except you'd be too tough to frickin' chew.
And your hair's so greasy, ever heard of shampoo?
Sometimes when I see you, I could just spew.
It's disgusting the pain that you've put me through.
And I think you also gave me the flu,
Ah - ah - ah - ahhhhhh - ahCHooooooo
So now I can't go to the zoo,
I guess I'll just listen to some Blink 182.
Then I'll change my haircolor to blue.
As I decide to make my life anew.
Hey, that sounds interesting. So what will you do?
Probably get a real big tattoo.
Maybe go to school, and some new skills acrue,
And read a bit about Winnie the Pooh!
I heard a rumor that he was a Jew.
That's strange, I thought he was Buddhist because he knows kung fu.
And has mastered the art of Ju-Jitsu
Actually, that was his friend Roo.
Phew!
By: Sue, Susan, Garvis, D.A., Doghouse, Misty, Elizabeth, and Jeff
When I close my eyes I think of you,
Then push a pin in the Doll of VooDoo.
If I'm really upset, I'll push in two,
And maybe light a match under you.
I hate you so much, you big piece of poo!
I could throw you in a pot of stew
Except you'd be too tough to frickin' chew.
And your hair's so greasy, ever heard of shampoo?
Sometimes when I see you, I could just spew.
It's disgusting the pain that you've put me through.
And I think you also gave me the flu,
Ah - ah - ah - ahhhhhh - ahCHooooooo
So now I can't go to the zoo,
I guess I'll just listen to some Blink 182.
Then I'll change my haircolor to blue.
As I decide to make my life anew.
Hey, that sounds interesting. So what will you do?
Probably get a real big tattoo.
Maybe go to school, and some new skills acrue,
And read a bit about Winnie the Pooh!
I heard a rumor that he was a Jew.
That's strange, I thought he was Buddhist because he knows kung fu.
And has mastered the art of Ju-Jitsu
Actually, that was his friend Roo.
Phew!
Welcome Celt
Celt joined the Exquisite-Corpse list in dramatic fashion (and was greeted in a likewise manner)
By: Celt, D.A., and Doghouse
It was a dark and stormy night and as the front door of the old mansion squeaked open on rusty complaining hinges, lightning flashed and starkly revealed the silhouetted figure of the new arrival.......
CELT!
The HORROR!!!
And then Celt laughed hilariously at the surprised looks on everyone's faces. "Scared you didn't I?"
"The way you jumped out I thought Michael Myers had finally caught us."
"Don't say his name you'll draw him to us!!!! We've been hiding out here in our little corner of cyber-space hiding from him. He's evil you know."
"What's all the noise going on up there? Rusty doors slamming at this time of night? Sounds like a bunch of darned hippies moving in."
"WORSE!!! A witch!"
A witch I tell you. She turned me into a newt.
"What does a guy have to do to get a decent night's sleep around here? First doors slamming and hinges squeaking and then a witch shows up and now I see talking newts crawling around all over the place. Oh well, as long as she didn't turn him into a Newt Gingrich then I can't complain."
By: Celt, D.A., and Doghouse
It was a dark and stormy night and as the front door of the old mansion squeaked open on rusty complaining hinges, lightning flashed and starkly revealed the silhouetted figure of the new arrival.......
CELT!
The HORROR!!!
***
And then Celt laughed hilariously at the surprised looks on everyone's faces. "Scared you didn't I?"
"The way you jumped out I thought Michael Myers had finally caught us."
"Don't say his name you'll draw him to us!!!! We've been hiding out here in our little corner of cyber-space hiding from him. He's evil you know."
***
"What's all the noise going on up there? Rusty doors slamming at this time of night? Sounds like a bunch of darned hippies moving in."
***
"WORSE!!! A witch!"
***
A witch I tell you. She turned me into a newt.
***
"What does a guy have to do to get a decent night's sleep around here? First doors slamming and hinges squeaking and then a witch shows up and now I see talking newts crawling around all over the place. Oh well, as long as she didn't turn him into a Newt Gingrich then I can't complain."
New One
New One
Another collaborative poem.
By: Sue, D.A., Susan, Doghouse, Misty, Jeff, Garvis
Last night I had the strangest dream
I couldn't quite place the theme
I think I was wading in a stream
And I think some of the images were quite obscene.
All of a sudden I saw a big fish!
With it's Peg Bundy Hairdo it said, "Let's dish!"
"But first," I thought, "I'd like to make a wish."
(For a Time Wonk had caused two replies to exist.)
"I'd like a dream date with Lillian Gish."
I don't even care that she is dead!
I bet she'd give terrific... meds
Another collaborative poem.
By: Sue, D.A., Susan, Doghouse, Misty, Jeff, Garvis
Last night I had the strangest dream
I couldn't quite place the theme
I think I was wading in a stream
And I think some of the images were quite obscene.
All of a sudden I saw a big fish!
With it's Peg Bundy Hairdo it said, "Let's dish!"
"But first," I thought, "I'd like to make a wish."
(For a Time Wonk had caused two replies to exist.)
"I'd like a dream date with Lillian Gish."
I don't even care that she is dead!
I bet she'd give terrific... meds
It's Quiet, Too Quiet
It's Quiet, Too Quiet
This poem came about when we were discussing what our next writing project should be. (The title reflects the subject line of the original discussion)
By: Susan, D.A., Sue, Doghouse, Qbryzan, Misty
I was so tired, I could hardly scream.
I wanted to sleep, and return to my dream.
But I was hungry and needed some ice cream.
So in my pajamas I wandered to the store.
Never thinking that in my PJs I looked rather hardcore.
In fact, its true, I could barely reveal more.
While along the way, I wandered upon a sight
I tried not to look, using all of my might
The grotesque figure gave me a fright
But I couldn't move, I was frozen in place,
Was that my neighbor's TV set showing The Amazing Race?
Rob and Amber were appearing for the 47th time.
But this time running it as a Mime.
And now someone's just tossed them a dime
But that won't pay for the Taxi this time.
This poem came about when we were discussing what our next writing project should be. (The title reflects the subject line of the original discussion)
By: Susan, D.A., Sue, Doghouse, Qbryzan, Misty
I was so tired, I could hardly scream.
I wanted to sleep, and return to my dream.
But I was hungry and needed some ice cream.
So in my pajamas I wandered to the store.
Never thinking that in my PJs I looked rather hardcore.
In fact, its true, I could barely reveal more.
While along the way, I wandered upon a sight
I tried not to look, using all of my might
The grotesque figure gave me a fright
But I couldn't move, I was frozen in place,
Was that my neighbor's TV set showing The Amazing Race?
Rob and Amber were appearing for the 47th time.
But this time running it as a Mime.
And now someone's just tossed them a dime
But that won't pay for the Taxi this time.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)