Alphabet Game

Alphabet Game
by Fordy, Doghouse, Susan, JoLayne, J. Elizabeth, Sue, Marie

Each sentence has to start with the next letter of the alphabet. (The first sentence would start with A, the second with B, the third with C and so on).


"Amazing!" Beatrice thought to herself, as she surveyed the view spread before her.

Behind her stood Carl and Deborah, rolling their eyes at her melodramatic ravings.

"Couldn't they understand," Beatrice thought to herself?

"DOW's back over 7,000 again," Deborah pointed out. “So? We have a long way to go.”

"Even with the Dow rising we still need money and we need it fast if we're gonna carry through with our original plans," muttered Carl.

"For God's sake, Bea," Deborah exclaimed. "Put your iphone away and focus." She looked at Carl's checklist. "Carl? Why do we need a gun?"

"Gun, uh, ummm ... What gun? This gun. Umm, uh, I don't know how it got here..." Carl stammered.

"How dare you lie to me?", Deborah spat and turned to the window and watched the street below.

Ichabod looked at the three of them and thought, "I have to save Humanity with this lot?"

"Just my luck", Ichabod thought as he stubbed out his cigarette and stood to face the room and give the three of them the bad news that would change their lives forever.

"Knives! Duck!", yelled Carl before Ichabod could say more.

Long before any of them could move, a duck holding razor sharp knives flew in through the window and stabbed Carl in the right eye. Deborah screamed and held her hands over her face as the duck flew around the room and back out the window.

Meanwhile, in another location an ancient darkness stirred, "My Mallard of Doom has drawn first blood! Mua ha ha ha!"

"North, you idiot, I told you to fly NORTH and kill, you limp-beaked bastard!", the Ancient Darkness cursed in ancient darkness.

"Obviously we're going to need this," Beatrice mumbled as she pried Carl's Glock from his cold, dead hand.

"Pass me the Saber Saw. We are going to need that too."

"Quite the pleasure device you have there, Ichabod", Deborah said huskily, "but shouldn't we remove the blade before we, you know?"

"Right, I guess... but that sounds boring to me," Ichabod smirked.

"Seriously you two, now is not the time," Beatrice said with resolve, "Carl lies dead not two feet from you, we must formulate a plan and take action!"

"That's it, you're not the boss of me, I'm leaving!" Ichabod screamed.

"Until we know for sure what is outside of these doors, no one crosses that threshold," Beatrice said to Ichabod.

"Voltex Industries," Deborah exclaimed excitingly, pointing out the window at a large van pulling into the parking lot of the Bellagio Hotel.

"Xavier!" She yelled, looking back at Ichabod and Beatrice, "Xavier is driving the van!"

"You have got to be kidding me!" Ichabod remarked, "Has he infiltrated them, or has he turned Benedict? All of our preparations could be for naught!"

"Zig zag all you want, Ichabod. I think everyone in this room knows who the real infiltrator is!"

"Alright! Alright! I admit it. It has been me! Me! this whole time," Ichabod laughed with an evil glint in his eye.

"BASTARD!" Deborah snarled, "And to think what I almost did with your .... saber saw!"

"Carl probably knew about you working with the Ancient Darkness," Beatrice accused, raising the gun to Ichabod's forehead.

"Did you kill him thinking we'd never figure that out?"

"Everyone knew the truth.. you were all just hiding from it" Icabod said,scornfully.

"Frak that Ichy!" Beatrice snarled, "you turned traitor for your own glory, thinking you'll be able to carve out a name for yourself under the totalitarian regime of the Ancient Darkness; you fail to realize that he wants destruction for everyone, including his boot-lickers!!!"

"God Bea, it's always the same conspiracy crap with you isn't it! Get a grip. And quit calling me Ichy!" Ichabod snarled right back!

"Holy Hell Ichy! Pull yourself together. There is a massive conspiracy going on and you need to realize it." Beatrice rubbed the back of her hand against her forehead.

Ichabod saw his chance and grabbed the gun from her hands and wrestled her to the floor.

Jarred by the impact of Beatrice hitting the floor, an antique porcelain vase tottered and fell off the counter catching Ichabod in the back of the head.

"Keystone Kops if ever I've seen them," a voice intoned as the door opened. Xavier entered and purveyed the scene before him.

Laughter, a deep menacing laughter, echoed through the room; filling our intrepid heroes with a foreboding doom.

"M...m... maggots?" Xavier cried as he backpedaled to escape the room and flee from the billions of wiggling larvae, some as large as two feet long, and all looking toward the now open door.

Noting Xavier's apparent discomfort at the squirming larve, Ichabod chuckled to himself. "If you are afraid of those small creatures, wait to see what I have planned for you next," he sneered.

“Oy vey! I didn’t sign up for this!” Deborah intoned.

“Pray you don’t look like lunch,” the menacing voice bellowed.

"Quickly everyone! If we don't act now all will be lost."

"Run all you want; it will do no good." Ichabod intoned, as he surveyed the scene. Carl's lifeless body still lay in the corner, Xavier quivered in fear and disgust at the door, Beatrice sat stunned on the floor not 2 feet from him; but where had Deborah gotten to?

"Saw this!!!" deborah cried as she lunged at ichabod with the saber saw, severing his head from his body.

Thunk, Ichabod's head hit the floor.

"United, we must be united; it's our last chance!" Beatrice wimpered as she slowly rose to her feet.

Valiant is how they felt! Nothing could stop them now!

Wonderous was their feeling of pride.

"Xinjiang, Xinjiang China is where we shall go!" Deborah then shouted!

"You're out of your mind!", Beatrice said. "Zimbabwe, maybe?"

And so it goes...... The End.

"but ... But was Ichabod the Ancient Darkness or his minion? We thought he was on our side, and he wasn't; what were we trying to accomplish?"

"Close your eyes and try not to think on it too much."

"Dammit - I want answers, and a conclusion. All these plot threads dropped for convenience, I don't understand" Deborah wailed.

"Enough! It was a metaphorical fight against the evil that threatens to consume us all. By stopping Ichabod, and standing up for justice and mercy and compassion we vanquished the Ancient Darkness for another day."

"Finshed then? it's all finished, and we can attempt to start anew?"

"Gads - that's what I've been telling you,"

"Honestly, I'm still a little confused - what about the crow?"

"I'm telling you - it was a manfestation of the evil inherent in mankind's collective soul. We stood against it, and in that act alone we won."

"Just standing up to it brought us victory?"

"Kind of."

Light surrounded them, as if a switch had been thrown.

"My my, what did I miss?" Carl asked!"

"Nyah!" Deborah excalimed, "Your Dead!!!!"

"Obviously, with the Ancient Darknesses power vanquished, the evil he commited is undone; and Carl lives again!"

"Please don't go into more of this; my head is spinning, I don't understand ..."

"Quiet, you'll give yuorself an anuerism trying to puzzle it all out."

"Really what you're saying is if we think of it as a shared hallucination we'll be able to move on with our lives, as opposed to pondering the unrealness of the entire event?"

"Seriously though, I think the memories of the last few weeks will fade over time; and it will all seem a dream."

"Think about it though, we were drawn from our seperate lives into this whole thing; and now if our memories fade, will that sever the relationships we've forged in this endeavor?"

"Unfortunately I'm sure that will be a side-effect ....." Beatrice trailed off.

"Very well then, my newly found and soon to be lost friends, fair thee well."

"Well then, I guess this is goodbye."

Xenon gases appeared to gather and shimmer in the air as the party said their goodbyes and went thier seperate ways.

"You may have defeated me this time, but there will be new champions and other battles ..." the Ancient Darknesses voice whispered into the night.

Ze End!

Merry Christmas EC-Spoilers

Merry Christmas EC-Spoilers
by Fordy

Twas the Night Before Christmas, And all through the list
Gearing up for Holiday Cheer, making sure nothing was missed,

Susan in Iowa, boxed up some snow,
To Doghouse she sent it, all wrapped with a bow.

Elizabeth got some tinsel, and spread it with care,
For Semaht was coming, with eggnog to share,

Rowan sends greetings from New Zealand to us,
Marie's getting someone else to drive the bus,

Jo and her cows, dressed up all festive,
Garvis sends greetings that are a little suggestive,

Lissa called Santa, to ensure he was on time,
JoLayne under the mistletoe, kissed a French Mime

Sue hung the stockings, some here and some there,
Janet brought the wreathes, all decorated with flair

Brian made snowmen, cluttering the yard
Fordy says Merry Christmas, though he's not much of a bard!

Roses Are Red - Summer 2009

Another Roses Are Red Poem/Conversation
by: Fordy, Doghouse, Marie

Roses are red, violets are blue,
the temp today is supposed to be 92.

Roses are red, sunscreen and shades I bought 'em,
but I really can't wait, for the cool days of autumn.

Roses are red, it's the second day of summer.
The heat wave's continued, My thought? That's a bummer.

Roses are red, as people cool off in the lake
I really wouldn't mind seeing a nice cool snowflake.

Roses are Red, And you're not too bored
I thought original posted to Blah, So poem was left, ignored

Roses are red, The sun is finally shining
Time to frolic in the sun, Quit your whining

Roses are red, when the weather's this ripe
I like doing nothing more than bitch and gripe.

Roses are red, I'm not too proud to say
weather this muggy just shouldn't be allowed.

Roses are Red, Rain Falls from the sky,
No lake on the weekend, Until the clouds go goodbye

Roses are red, Criminals are violent
Why is everyone else in the group, Staying so silent?

Roses are red, I don't like to cuss
but I want to know D.A., where is my bus?

Roses are red, I don't know what DA's done with the bus,
but while we wait we can watch Desperado with Antonio Banderas.

Roses are red, to answer DA: I don't know why.
The only thing I can think is everyone's shy.

Roses Are red, And I must confess,
After that party, I made a bit of a mess.

Roses are red, The mess was concealed,
I gave it to Otto And hid it in Springfield

Roses are red, violets are blue
everything's been said, so this poem is now through.

Roses are red, before I hit 'send'
I just wanna add ...The End

Fictional News

One idea tossed around was to make up a fictional news-story. In response to a comment in our very own blog from "Danny Gokey - Doghouse's #1 fan". JoLayne and Doghouse took up this challenge.

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AP Wire – from 2 minutes ago Allison, the future Season Eight Idol Winner, was furious when it came to light that her rival, Danny Gokey, not only think he will be the season’s Idol winner, but is also Doghouse’s number one fan. “I can’t believe he would say that, let alone post it in a blog. And two months ago… what an ego. I’M Doghouse’s number one fan and two months ago on Idol there was Lil, Anoop, tattoo girl, and Matt. Tough competition. Danny’s lucky to even still be on the show, let alone the Winner.” She continued, “To be Doghouse’s number one fan, you have to yell Arf Arf! There wasn’t one Arf in his whole blog.”

Attempts to reach Danny Gokey at the Idol mansion were unsuccessful. AP helicopters, circling the grounds for a shot of the husky-throated warbler did manage to capture footage of Adam Lambert and Chris Allen comforting Allison, who was unfairly voted out of last night’s Idol telecast, as she packed her bags.

TMZ reports that Britney Spears has been staking out the Idol mansion in search of a man who can actually sing.